The Mother at Home: Or, The Principles of Maternal Duty Familiarly Illustrated

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t)arvar^ CoUeoe Xibrari^

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THJ8

2ikuJ£try in her Tap •nd says }^ dmw an ym sorry that
ym dis9^td iiuOur ? " ^^^ jj,

CROCKER 8fi BRIBWBTPIER.

THE

MOTHER AT HOME;

fHE PRINCIPLES

MATERNAL DUTY

f>AMILIARLT ILLUBTRATBD.

.%

BY REV. JOHN S. C. ABBOTT, *-

WORGXSTSR, M ASa. ^

FIFTH KDinON— STXRKOTTPXD.

BOSTON:

PUBLISHED BY CROCKER AND BREWSTER,
47 Waihington-ftreet.

lOEW-TOBKi— LBAYITT, LORD, * 00^
UBBiMuhraj.

1835^

t>v

)>TA^ . Wvvi^i£jrtjfiL M » A^WV

Batored aceordinf to Act of Confren, in the year 1839^

BY CROCKER Sk BREWSTER,

la t!h« Ckrk'i (Mfea of the Diatrict Court of Mmachaiettt.

DEDICATION.

TO MY FATHER AND MOTHER

This book is most affectionately dedicated.
For the principles here inculcated, I am in-
debted to the instructions I received, and the
scenes I witnessed, at your fire-side. That
God may render them available, in conferring
the same joy upon other families, which they
have so richly shed upon yours, is the prayer
of your

GRATEFUL SON.

PREFACE.

The object of this book is practical vtUUgi
not literary effect. It was written for mothers
in the common walks of life. There are
many mothers, in every village of our land,
who are looking eagerly for information re-
specting the government of their children. It
is hoped that the following treatise may render
them some assistance.

Some persons may object to the minuteness
of detail, and the familiarity of illustration, oc-
casionally introduced. We, however, are per-
suaded that this objection will not be made by
mothers. Education consists in attention to
little things.

The religious sentiments inculcated in this

book are those usually denominated evangeli-

ad. We have proceeded upon the principle

that here is the commencement of external ex-

Y I»

6 PREFACE.

ktence, and that the great object of education
is to prepare the child for its heavenly home.

When a person writes upoq the subject of
family government, the first thought which
arises in the minds of many readers, is, ^' we
will see how he succeeds in his own family."
There are many motives, such as indolence,
fidse tenderness, &c. operating to induce a
parent to neglect known duty. The principles
contained in this book may be correct, even
though the author should fail to enforce them.

This treatise was commenced with particu-
lar reference to the mothers who attend my
ministry. That it may be of assistance to
them, in their efforts to lead their children to
the Savior, is the earnest prayer of their friend
and pastor, /

John S. C. Abbott.

OOlTTBirTt.

CHAPTER I.

Responhbtlitt.— Anecdote. The Mother df Washing-
ton. Bjrron. Newton. The Sailor. Consequences
of a daughter's sin. The Maniac. The way to
avoid maternal anguish^ "Page 9

CHAPTER II.

Maternal AuTHORmr. — Necessity of obedience. What
is meant by obedience. The ^ck child. The way to
obtain obedience. Scene in a farm house. Instance
of maternal faithfulness. Mothers' excuses. Two
family scenes. A mother's power. 94

CHAPTER in.

Maternal AtrrHORmr, amtiimed. — Contests with chil-
dren. Anecdote. The way to avoid contests. Va-
riations of feeling. Difference of natural disposi>
tion. Variations of punishment. Unjust punish-
ment. Illustrations. Time to commence govern-
ment. Effects of severity. 40

CHAPTER IV.

The Mother's DrppiOTLTiEs.^Necessity of self<ontroL

Illustration. Necessity of resolution. The unhappy

- widow. Anecdote of Buonaparte. Fatal Indul-

^^ gence of sick children. Importance of harmony of

views between both parents. Family saved from

ruin by a mother. 64

CHAPTER T.

Faults and Errors. Talking about children in their
presence. Anecdote. Self-conceit, how produced.
Injudicious remarks of visitors. The vain child.
Making exhibitions of children's attainments. Re-

^

O CONTENTS.

peating h)rmns. Remarks of an English gentle-
man. Secluding children from society. A family
scene. Loquacity. Anecdote. Deceiving children.
The Physician. Good effects of approbation. Basil
Bfall. Imaginary ftars. Appalling consequences
of resorting to them for punishment. 83

CHAPTER VI.

Reugioos lN3TRncnoN. — A mother's influence. Impor- '
tance of deep devotional feeling. Dying scene. The
cheerful aspect in i^ich religion should be pre-
sented. Appropriate occasions for religious in-
struction. Tenderness of feeling. The storm.
Sickness. The death of a child. Anecdote. The
summer's morning. Loss of a ball. The gentle-
man and the cabin-boy. Inappropriate occasions.
Excitement. Tedious conversation. HI

CHAPTER VII.

REUGions iNSTRUGTibN, cotUiTviud. — Indefinite views of
heaven. Vivid description of the inspired writers.
Intellectual delight. Rapture of melody. Joy of
friendship. Beauty of scenery. The Savior. Im-
pression a Savior's love produces on the mind of
a child. Nathan Dickerman. Prayer with children.
The gambler. English gentleman. Teaching chil-
dren to pray. Mode. Anecdote. Expect success.
Sources of encouragement. Evil consequences of
giving publicity to the hopeful piety of a child. 133

CHAPTER VIII.

Rbiults. — A mother's joys. A mother's influence on
future generations. Consequences of a father's ne-
glect of duty. Necessity of studjring the subject of
Education. Consequences of ignorance. Keeping
journals. Extracts from a mother's note-book. Ces-
sation of toil, and a heavenly home. 166

1 JMIJ!: MOTHER AT HOME.

CHAPTER I.

RESPONSIBIIJTT.

A F^w years ago, some gentlemen wno were as-
sociated in preparing for the ministry, felt interest-
ed in ascertaining what proportion of their number
had pious mothers. They were greatly surprised
and delighted in finding that out of one hundred
and twenty students, over a hundred had been borne
by a mother's prayers, and directed by a mother's
counsels, to the Savior. Though some of these had
broken away from all the restraints of home, and
like the prodigal, had wandered in sin and sorrow,
yet they could not forget the impressions of child-
hood, and were eventually brought to the Savior, to
be a mother's joy and blessing. Many interesting
fects have, within a few years, drawn the attention
of Christians to this subject. The efforts which a
mother makes for the improvement of her child in
knowledge and virtue, are necessarily retired and im-

10 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

obtrusive. The world knowa not of them ; and hence
the world has been slow to perceive how powerful
and extensive is this secret and silent influence.
But circumstances are now directing the eyes of
the community to the nursery, and the truth is
daily coming more distinctly before the public, that
the influence which is exerted upon the mind dur-
ing the first eight or ten years of existence, in a
great degree guides the destinies of that mind for
time and eternity. And as the mother is the
guardian and guide of the early years of life, from
her goes the most powerful influence in the forma-
tion of the character of man. And why should it
not be so ? What impressions can be more strong,
and more lasting, than those received upon the mind
in the freshness and the susceptibility of youth?
What instructor can gain greater confidence and
respect than a mother? And where can there be
delight in acquiring knowledge, if not when the
little flock cluster around a mother's knee to hear
of God and heaven ?

"A good boy generally makes a good man."
Said the mother of Washington, *' George was
always a good boy." Here we see one secret of his
greatness. George Washington had a mother who
made him a good boy, and instilled into his heart
jthose principles which raised him to be the bene-

RESPONSIBILITY. U

&ctor of his country, and one of tha^rightest onw-
ments of the world. The mother of Washington is
entitled to a nation^s gratitude. She taught her boy
the principles of obedience, and moral courage, and
virtue. She, in a great measure, formed the charac-
ter of the hero, and the statesman. It was by her
own fire-side that she taught her playful boy to go-
vern himself; and thus \^'as he prepared for the
brilliant career of usefulness which he afterward
pursued. We are indebted to God for the gift of
Washington ; but we are no less indebted to him for
the gift of his mestimable mother. Had she been a
weak, and indulgent, and unfaithful parent, the un-
checked energies of Washington might have elevat-
ed him to the throne of a tyrant ; or youthful dis-
obedience might have prepared the way for a life of
crime and a dishonored grave.

Byron had a mother just the reverse of lady
Washington ; and the character of the mother was
transferred to the son. We cannot wonder then at
his character and conduct, for we see them to be
the ahnost necessary consequence of the education
he received, and the scenes witnessed in his mother's
parlor. She would at one time allow him to disobey
with impunity ; ^^in she would fly into a rage and
beat him. She thus taught him to defy all authori-
ty, human and divine ; to indulge, without restraint.

12 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

in fiin ; to g!w himself up to the power of every
maddening passion. It was the mother of Byron
who laid the foundation of his pre-eminence in
giiilt. She taught him to plunge into that sea of
profligacy and wretchedness, upon whose agitated
waves he was tossed for life. If the crimes of the
poet deserve the execration of the world — ^the world
cannot forget that it was the mother who fostered
in his youthful heart those passions which made
the son a curse to his fellow-men.

There are, it is true, innumerable causes inces-
santly operating in the formation of character. A
mother's influence is by no means the only in-
fluence which is exerted. Still it may be the most
powerful; for, with God's ordinary blessing, it
may form in the youthful mind the habits, and im-
plant the principles, to which other influences are
to give permanency and vigor.

A pious and &ithful mother may have a dissolute
child. He may break away from all restraints, and
God may leave him to " eat the fruit of his own
devices." The parent, thus afflicted and broken-
hearted, can only bow before the sovereignty of her
Maker, who says, " be still, and know that I am
God." The consciousness, however, of having done
one's duty, divests this affliction of much of its bit-
terness. And beside, such cases are rare. ProjBi-

RESPONSIBILITY. 13

gaXe children are generally the offisprii% of pareolB
who have neglected the moral and religions educa-
tion of their &mily. Some parents are themselyes
profligate, and thus not only allow their children to
grow up unrestrained, but by their example lure
them to sin. But there are others, who are very
upright, and virtuous, and even pious themselyes,
who do, nevertheless, neglect the moral cukare of
their children ; and as a consequence, they grow up
in disobedience and sin. It matters but little what
the cause is which leads to this neglect The ne-
glect itself will ordinarily be followed by disobe-
di«)ce and self-will.

Hence the reason that children of eminent men,
both in church and state, are not unfirequenlly the
disgrace of their parents. If the mother is unaccus-
tomed to govern her children, if she look to the fie
ther to enforce obedience, and to control ; when he is
absent, aU 6mily government is absent, and the chil-
dren are left to run wild ; to learn lessons of disobe*
dience; to practise arts of deception; to build, upon
the foundation of contempt for a mother, a character
of insubordination and iniquity. But if the children
are under the efficient govemmrat of a judicious mo-
ther, the reverse of this is almost invariably the case.
And sinc% in nearly every instance^ the early 3reais
of life are intrusted to a mother's care^ it foUows thai
Y 2

14 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

maternal u^fcience, more than any thing else, forms
the future character.

The history of John Newton is often mentioned^
as a proof of the deep and lasting impression which
a mother may produce upon the mind of her child.
He had a pious mother. She often retired to her
closet, and placing her hand upon his youthful head,
implored God's blessing upon her boy. These
prayers and instructions sunk deep into his heart.
He could not but revere that mother. He could not
but feel that there was a holiness in such a character,
demanding reverence and love. He could not tear
from his heart, in after life, the impressions then pro-
duced. Though he became a wicked wanderer,
though he forsook friends and home, and every vir-
tue ; the remembrance of a mother's prayers, like a
guardian angel, followed him wherever he went.
He mingled in the most dissipated and disgraceful
scenes of a sailor's life, and while surrounded with
guilty associates, in midnight revelry, he would fen-
cy he felt the soft hand of his mother upon his head,
pleading with God to forgive and bless her boy. He
went to the coast of Africa, and became even more
degraded than the savages upon her dreary shores.
But the soft hand of his mother was still upon his
head, and the fervent prayers of his mother still thrill-
ed in his heart And this influence, after the lapse

llESPONSiBILITT. 15

of many guilty years, brought back the prodigal, a
penitent and a child of God; elevated him to be one
of the brightest ornaments of the Christian church,
and to guide many sons and daughters to glory.
What a forcible comment is this upon the power of
maternal influence 1 And what encouragement does
this present to every mother to be fiiithful in her ef-
forts to train up her child for Gted ! Had Mrs. New-
ton neglected her duty, had she even been as lenuBa
as many Christian mothers, her son, to all human
view, might have continued in sin, and been an out-
cast from heaven. It was through the influence of
the mother that the son was saved. Newton became
afterward a most successful preacher of the Qospel,
and every soul which he was instrumental in sav-
ing, as he sings the song of redeeming mercy, will,
through eternity, bless God that Newton had such a
mother.

The influence thus exerted upon the mind, in early
childhood, may, for many years, be apparently lost
When a son leaves home, and enters upon the busy
world, many are the temptations which come crowd-
ing upon him. If he leaves not his mother with es-
tablished principles of religion and self-control, he
will most assuredly fall before these temptations. He
may indeed fall, even after all a mother has done, or
can do ; and he may become deeply involved in guilt.

IS THE MOTHER AT HOME.

But he may apparently forget every lesson he leanrt
at home, while the influence of a mother's instruc-
tions, and a mother's prayers, is yet working power-
fully and effectually in his heart. He will think of
a mother's tears, when remorse keeps him awake at
midnight, or when danger threatens him with speedy
arraignment at the har of QoL The thoughts of die
sacredness of home will often throw bitterness into
his cup of guilty pleasure, and compel him to sigh
for the virtue and the peace he has forsaken. Even
though &r away, in abodes of infiuny, degraded and
abandoned, he must occasionally think of a brok^i*
heaited moth^. Thus may he, after many years,
perhaps long after she has gone down to the grave,
be led, by the rem^oEibrance of her virtues, to forsake
his sins.

A short time since, a gentleman, in one of our
most populous cities, was going to attend a seaman's
meeting in the mariner's chapel. Directly opposite
the chapel there was a sailor's boarding house. In
the door-way sat a hardy, weather-beaten sailor, with
arms folded, and puffing a segar, watching the peo-
ple as they gradually assembled for the meeting.
The gentleman walked up to him and said, '* Well,
my friend, won't you go with us to meeting ?" " No I "
said the sailor, bluntly. The gentleman, who, from
the appearance of the man, was prepared for a i#*

RESPONSIBILITY. 17

pulse, mildly replied, " You look, my frieaid, as
though you had seen hard days ; have you a mo-
ther?'' The sailor raised his head, looked earnestly
in the gentleman's £ice, and made no reply.

The gentleman continued : •• Suppose your mother
were here now, what advice would she give you?"
The tears rushed into the eyes of the poor sailor ; he
tried for a moment to conceal them, but could not ;
and, hastily brushing them away with the back of
his rough hand, rose and said, with a voice almost
inarticulate through emotion, " I'll go to the meet-
ing." He crossed the street, entered the door of the
chapel, and took hiis seat with the assembled con-
gregation.

What afterward became of the man is not known«
It is however almost certain that he must have had
a mother who had given him good instruction ; and
when the gentleman appealed to her, hardened as
the sailor was, his heart melted. It is by no means
improbable that this interview may have checked
this man in his sins, and led him to Christ. At any
event, it shows the strength of maternal influence.
It shows that years of wandering and of sin cannot
erase from the heart the impression which a mo-
ther's instructions and a mother's prayers have left
there.

It is a great trial to have children undutiful when
y 2*

18 THE MOTHSR AT HOME.

youngs; but it is a tenfold greater affliction to have
a child grow up to maturity in disobedience, and
become a dissolute and abandoned man. How many
parents have passed days of sorrow and nights of
sleeplessness in consequence of the misconduct of
their offspring ! How many have had their hearts
broken, and their gray hairs brought down with sor*
row to the grave, solely in consequence of their own
neglect to train up their children in the nurture and
admonition of the Lord 1 Your iuture happiness is
in the hands of your children. They may throw
gloom over all your prospects, embitter every enjoy-
ment, and make you so miserable, that your only
prospect of relief will be in death.

That little girl whom you now ibndle upon your
knee, and who plays, so full of enjoyment, upon
your floor, has entered a world where temptations
are thick around. What is to enable her to resist
these temptations, but established principles of piety ?
And where is she to obtain these principles, but from
a modier's instructions and example ? If, through
your neglect now, she should hereafter yield herself
to temptation and sin, what must become of your
peace of mind 1 O mother I little are you aware of
the wretchedness with which your loved daughter
may hereafter overwhelm you I

Many illustrations of the most afiectMjg nature

RKSPONSIBILITT. 19

ndgfat be here iirtroduced. It would be easy to ap-
peal to a vast number of living sufferers, in attesta-
tion of the wo which the sin of the child has occa-
sioned You may go, not only in imagination, bul
in reality, to the darkened chamber, where the mo-
ther sits weeping, and refusing to be com£)rted, for
a daughter is lost to virtue and to heaven. Still, no
person can imagine how overwhelming the agony
which must prey upon a mother thus dishonored and
broken-hearted. This is a sorrow which, can only
be understood by one who has tasted its bitterness
and felt its weight. We may go to the house of
piety and prayer, and find the fiidier and mother
with countenances emaciated with suffering ; not a
smile plays upon their features, and the mournful
accents of their voice tell how deeply seated is their
sorrow. Shall we inquire into the cause of this
heart-rending grief? The mother would only reply
with tears and sobs. The father would summon all
his fortitude, and say, " my daughter" — and say no
more. The anguish of his spirit would prevent the
&rther utterance of his grief

Is this exaggeration ? No ! Let your lovely daugh-
ter, now your pride and joy, be abandoned to in&-
my, be an outcast from society, and you must feel
what language cannot express.

This if a dreadul subject ; but it is one which

20 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

the mother must feel and understand. There are
facts which might here be introduced, sufficient to
make every parent tremble. We might lead you to
the dwelling of the clergyman, and tell you that a
daughter's sin has murdered the mother, and sent
paleness to the cheek, and trembling to the frame,
and agony to the heart of the aged father. We
might carry you to the parlor of the rich man, and
show you all the elegance and the opulence with
which he is surrounded ; and yet he would tell you
that he was one of the most unhappy of the sons of
affliction, and that he would gladly give all his trea-
sures if he could purchase back a daughter's vir-
tue ; that he could gladly lie down to die, if he
could thus blot out the remembrance of a daugh-
ter's infamy.

No matter what your situation in life may be, that
little child, now so innocent, whose playM endear-
ments and happy laugh awaken such thrilling emo-
tions in your heart, may cause you years of most un-
alleviated misery.

And mother I look at that drunken vagrant, stag-
gering by your door. Listen to his horrid impreca-
tions, as bloated and ragged he passes along. That
wretch has a mother. Perhaps, widowed and in
poverty, she needs the comfort and support of an
affectionate son. You have a son. You may soon

RfiSPOKlCBILITT. 5tl

be a widow. If your son U djssolate, you are doubly
widowed; yam are worie, infinitely worse than
ehildleds. You cannot now endure eren the thou|^
that your son will einer be thus abandoned. How
dreads then must be the experience of the realky I

I once knew a mother who had an only son. She
loved him most urdentiy, and could not bear to deny
him any indulgence. He, a[ course, soon learned to
rule his mother. At the death of his fiither, the poor
woman was M at the mercy <^ this vile boy. She
had neglected her duty when he was 3roung, and
now his ungovernable passions had become too
strong for her control. Self-willed, turbulent, and
revengeful, he was his mother's bitterest curse. His
paroxysms of rage at times amounled almost to madr
ness. One day, inforiiyted with his mc^ther, he set
fire to her house, and it was burned to the ground,
with all itacontMits, and she was left in the extremest
state of poverty. He was imprisoned as an incen-
diary, and, in his cell, he became a maniac, if he
was not such before, and madly dug out his own
eyes. He now lies in perpetual darkness, confined
by the stone walls and grated bars of his dungeon,
an infuriated madman.

O how hard it must be for a mother, after all her
pam, and anxiety, and watchings, to find her son a
demoniac spirit, instead of a guardian and friend !

22 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

You have watched over your child, through all the
months of its helpless ihfency. You have denied
yourself; that you might give it comfort. When it
has been sick, you have been unmindful of your own
weariness, and your own weakness, and the livelong
night you have watched at its cradle, administering
to all its wants. When it has smiled, you have felt
& joy which none but a parent can feel, and have
pressed your much loved treasure to your bosom,
praying that its future years of obedience and affec-
tion might be your ample reward. And now, how
dreadful a requital, for that child to grow up to hate
and abuse you ; to leave you friendless, in sickness
and in poverty; to squander all his earnings in
haunts of iniquity and degradation.

How entirely is your earthly happiness at the
disposal of your child 1 His character is now, in an
important sense, in your hands, and you are to
form it for good or for evil. If you are consistent in
your government, and faithful in the discharge of
your duties, your child will probably through life
revere you, and be the stay and solace of your de-
clining years. I^ on the other hand, you cannot
summon resolution to punish your child when dis-
obedient ; if you do not curb his passions ; if you
do not bring him to entire and willing subjection to
your authority; you must expect that he will be

RBSPONSIBILITT. 21

jrour curse. In all probability, he will despise you
for your weakness. Unaccustomed to restraints at
home, he will break away from all restraints, and
make you wretched by his life, and disgraceful in
his death.

But few parents think of this as they ought
They are not conscious of the tremendous conse-
quences dependent upon the efficient and decisive
government of their children. Thousands of pareitfs
now stand in our land like oaks blighted and scath-
ed by lightnings and storms. Thousands have had
every hope wrecked, every prospect darkened, and
have become the victims of the most agonizing and
heart-rending disappointment, solely in consequence
of the misconduct of their children. And yet thou-
sands of others are going on in the same way, pre-
paring to experience the same suffering, and are
apparently unconscious of their danger.

It is true that there are many mothers who feel
their responsibilities perhaps as deeply as it is best
they should feel them. But there are many others
— even of Christian mothers — ^who seem to forget
that their children will ever be less under their
control than they are while young. And they are
training them up, by indecision and indulgence,
soon to tyrannize over their parents with a rod of
iroxi^-«nd to pierce their hearts with many sor-

M THE KOTHBR AT KOME.

saws. If you aie unfaithful to youor cbild wheiL ke
k youttg, he will be un&ithful to you when he k
eld. If you indulge him in all hb foolish and um-
reasonaUe wishee when he is a child, when he ho*-
comes a man he will indulge himself; he will gra-
tify every desire c^ his heart ; and your sufferings
will he rendered the more poignant by the reflec-
tion that it was your own unfaithfulness which has
caused your ruin. If you would be the happy
mother of a happy child, give your attention, an4
your eSoTtB, and your prayers, to the great duty o(
training hin^ up for God aind heaven.

CHAPTER II.

MATERNAL AUTHORITY.

I HA¥B thus endeayored to show the mother
how much her happiness is dependant upon the:
good or bad character of her children. Your own
reflections and observation have, doubtless, impress-
ed this sul]ject most deeply upon your heart. The
question has probably oflen presented itself to your
mind, while reading the previous chapter, ^ How
•hi^ I govern my ekUdren, so as to secure Aeir

MATSENAL AUTHOmiTT. 36

virtue and JNippiiiess ?" This question I shall mow
endeavor to answer.

L Obedience is absolutely essential to proper &-
mily goremment. Without this* all oth^ ^biti
will be in vain. You may pray wkh, and hi jova
childr^i ; you may strive to instruct them in reli-
gious truth ; you may be unwearied in your ^orts
to make them happy, and to gain their afiection.
But if they are in habits of disobedience, your in-
structions will be lost, and your toil in vain. And
by obedience, I do not mean languid and dilatory
yielding to repeated threats, but prompt and cheer*
fill acquiescence in parental commands. Neither is
it enough that a child should 3rield to your arg%*
menis and ftrsuations. It is essential diat he should
submit to your authority.

I will suppose a case in illustration of this last
remark. Your little daughter is sick ; you go to
her with the ^medicine which has been prescribed
for her, and the following dialogue ensues.

•• Here, my daughter, is some medicme for ytw."

** I don't want to take it, mamma."

•• Yes, my dear, do take it, for it will make you
feel better."

** No it worft, mother; I don't want it."

" Yes it will, my child ; the doctor says it will."

** Well, it don't taste good, and I don't want it.*'

r 8

26 THK MOTHER AT HOXS.

The mother continues her persuasions, and the
child persists in its refusal. After a long and weari-
some conflict, the mother is compelled either to
throw the medicine away, or to resort to compul-
sion, and force down the unpalatahle drug^. Thus^
instead of appealing to her own supreme authority,
she is appealing to the reason of the child, and, un-
der these circumstances, the child of course refuses
to submits

A mother, not long since, under similar circum-
stances, not being able to persuade her child to take
the medicine, and not having sufficient resolution to
compel it, threw the medicine away. When the phy-
sician next called, she was ashamed to acknowledge
her want of govemment, and therefore did not tell
him that the medicine had not been given. The
ph3rsician finding the child worse, left another pre-
scription, supposing the previous one had been pro-
perly administered. But the child had no idea of
being convinced of the propriety of taking the nau-
seous dose, and the renewed efforts of the mother
were unavailing. Again the fond and foolish, but
cruel parent, threw the medicine away, uid the fever
was left to rage unchecked in its veins. Again the
physician called, and was surprised to find the inef-
ficacy of his prescriptions, and that the poor little
sufferer was at the verge of death. The mother

ItATEllNAL AVTHOBITT. 27

when Informed that her child must die, was in an
agony, and confessed what she had done. But it was
too late. The child died. And think you that mo-
ther gazed upon its pale corpse with any common
emotions of anguish ? Think you the idea never en-
tered her mind that she was the destroyer of her
child ? Physicians will tell ydu that many children
have bfeen thus lost. Uiiaccustomed to obedience
when well, they were still more averse to it when
sick. The efibrts which are made to induce a stuh-
born child to take medicine, often produce such an
excitement as entirely to counteract the effect of the
prescription ; and thus is a mother often called to
weep over the grave of her child, simply because
she has not taught that child to obey.

It is certainly the duty of parents to convince
their children of the reasonableness and propriety
of their requirements. This should be done to in-
struct them, and to make them acquainted with mo-
ral obligation. But there should always be authority
sufficient to enforce prompt obedience, whether the
child can see the reason of the requirement or not.
Indeed, it is impossibly to govern a child by mere ar-
gttnaent. Many cases must occur, in which it will be
incap&bliB of seeing the reasonableness of the com-
mand; and bften its wishes will be so strongly op-
posed Id duty^ that all the efforts to convince will be

2o THE MOTHER AT HOME.

in vain. The first thing therefore to be aimed at» is
to bring your child under perfect subjection. Teach
him that he must obey you. Sometimes give him
your reasons ; again withhold them. But let him
perfectly understand that he is to do as he is bid. Ac-
custom him to immediate and cheerful acquiescence
in your will. This is obedience. And this is abso-
lutely essential to good family governmait Without
this, your family will present one continued scene of
noise and confusion ; the toil of rearing up your chil-
dren will be almost insupportable, and, in all proba^
bility, your heart will be broken by their future
licentiousness or ingratitude.

II. We come now to the inquiry, hofw is this hahit
of obedience to be established? This is not so difiicult
a matter as many imagine. It does not require pro-
found learning, or a mysterious skill, which pertains
but to the few. Where do you find the best regu-
lated families ? Are they in the houses of the rich ?
Do the children of our most eminent men furnish
the best patterns for imitation ? Obviously not. In
some of the most humble dwellings we find the beau-
tiful spectacle of an orderly and well regulated fiunily.
On the other hand, in the mansions of the wealthiest
or most eminent men of our country, we may often
find a £unily of rude girls and ungovernable boys,
-*Hi picture of wild misrule. It is not greatness of

MATERNAL AUTHOBITT. 29

talent, or profound learning, which is requisite to
teach a child obedience. The principles ty which
we are to be guidfed dre very simple and very plain*

Nevef give a command which you do not intend
shall ht obeyed.

There is no more effectual way of tisaching a
child disobedience, than by giving commiands which
you have no intention of enforcing. A child is thus
habituated to disregard its mother ; and in a short
time the habit becomes so strong, and the child's
contempt for the mother so confirmed, that entreaties
and threats are alike unheeded.

" Maty, let that book alone," sa3rs a mother to her
little daughter, who is trying to pull the Bible from
the table.

Mary stops for a moment, and then takes hold of
the book again.

Pretty soon the mother looks up and sees that
Mary is still playing with the Bible. " Did not you
hear me tell you to let that book alone V* she ex-
claims: " Why don't you obey?"

Mary takes away her hdnd for a moment, but is
soon again at her forbidden amusement. By and by,
iown comes the Bible upon the floor. Up jumps
the mother, and hastily giving the child a passionate'
blow, exclaims, " There then, obey me next time."
The child screams, and the mother picks up the Bi-

Y 3*

30 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

ble, saying, " I wonder why my childrwi do not obey
me better."

This is not a very interesting &mily scene, but
every one of my readers will admit that it is not an
uncoitmon one. And is it strange that a child, thua
managed, should be disobedient ? No. She is actu-
ally led on by her mother to insubordination ; she
is actually taught to pay no heed to her directions*
Even the improper punishment which sometimes
follows transgression, is not inflicted on account of
her disobedience, but for the accidental consequences.
In the case above described, had the Bible not fallen,
the disobedience of the child would have passed un-
punished. Let it be an immutable principle in fa-
mily government, that your word is law.

I was once, when riding in the country, overtaken
by a shower, and compelled to seek shelter in a fisirm
house. Half a dozen rude and ungovernable boys
were racing about the room, in such an uproar as
to prevent the possibility of conversation with the fa-
ther, who was sitting by the fire. As I, however, en-
deavored to make some remark, the father shouted
out, " Stop that noise, boys."

They paid no more heed to him than they did to
the rain. So(m again, in an irritated voice, he ex*
claimed,

"Boys, be still, or I will whip you ; as sure a»

MATERNAL AUTHORITY. SI

you are alive I will." But the boys, as though ac-
customed to such threats, screamed and quarreled
without intermission.

At last the father said to me, *" I belieye I have
got the worst bo3r8 in town ; I never can make them
mind me."

The fact was, these boys had the worst father
in town. He was teaching them disobedience as di-
rectly and efficiently as he could. He was giving
commands which he had no intention of enforcing,
and they knew it. This, to be sure, is an extreme
case. But just so &r as any mother allows her au-
thority to be disregarded, so far does she expose her-
self to the contempt of her children, and actually
teaches them lessons of disobedience.

And is there any difficulty in enforcing obedience
to any definite command % Take the case of the
child playing with the Bible. A mild and judicious
mother says distinctly and decidedly to her child,
*' My daughter, that is the Bible, and you must not
touch it." The child hesitates for a moment, but
yielding to the strong temptation, is soon playing
with the forbidden book. The mother immediately
rises, takes the child, and carries her into her cham-
ber. She sits down and says calmly, " Mary, I told
you not to touch the Bible, and you have disobeyed
I am very sorry, for now I must punish you."

32 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

Mary begins to cry, ieind to protmsb not to do so
again.

" But Alary," says the mother, ** you have disobey^
ed me, and you must be punished."

Mary continues to cry, but the mother seriously
and calmly punishes her. She inflicts real pain— ^
pain that will be remembered.

She then says, ** Mary, it makes mothet very un^
happy to have to punish you. She loves her little
daughter, and wishes to have her a good girl."

She then perhaps leaves her to herself for a few
minutes. A little solitude will deepen the impres-
sion made;

In five or ten minutes she returns, takes Maty in
her lap, and says, " My dear, are you sorry that you
disobeyed mother ?"

Almost any child would say, " Yes I"

" Will you be careful and not disobey me again ?"

" Yes, motheri"

" Well, Mary," says her mother, " / will forgive
you, so far as I can ; but God is displeased ; you
have disobeyed him as well as me. Do you wish
me to ask God to forgive you ?"
" Yes, mother," answers the child.
The mother then kneels with her daughter and
offers a simple prayer for forgiveness, and the return
of peace and happiness. She then leads her out,

MATERNAL AUTHORITY/ 83

hoBftUed and subdued. At night, jmt before she
goes to sleep, she mildly and affectionately reminds
her of her disobedience, and advises her to ask Qod's
forgiveness again. Mary, in child-like simplicity,
acknowledges to God what she has done, and asks
him to forgive her, and take care of her, during the
night.

When this child awakes in the morning, will not

her young affections be more strongly fixed upon

her mother, in consequence of the discipline of the

preceding day ? As she is playing about the room,

will she be likely to forget the lesson the has been

taught, and again .reach out her hand to a forbidden

object 9 Such an act of disciplme tends to establish

a general principle in the mind of the child, which

will be of permanent operation, extending its inflt^

ence to every command, and promoting the general

authority of the mother and subjection of the child.

I know that some mothers say that they have not

time to pay so much attention to their children. But

the fact is, that not one-third of the time is required

to take care of an orderly family, which is necessary

to take care of a disorderly one. To be fidthfiil in

the government of your family, is the only way to

save time. Can you afford to be distracted and ha-

vassed by continued disobedience ? Can you spare

die time to have your attention called away, every

84 THfi MOTHER AT HOMEt

moment, from the business in which you are eng^iged^
by the mischievousness of ybur wilful children?

Look at the parent surrounded by a family of
children who are in the habit of doing as they please:
She is very busy; I will suppose, upon some article
of dres^, which it is important should be immediately
finished. Every moment she is compelled to raise
her eyes from her work, to see what the children
are abbut: Samuel is climbing upon the table. Jane
is drawing out the andirons. John is galloping about
the room upon the tongs. The mother, almost deaf-
ened with noisoj wonders what makes her children
so much more troublesome than other people's.

*' Jane, let those andirons alone," she exclaims.
Jane runs away for a moment, chases Charles around
the room, and returns to her mischief.

*• Charles, put up those tongs." Charles pays no
heed to the direction.

The mother, soon seeing how he is wearing the
carpet and bruising the furniture, gets up, gives
Charles a shake, and places the tongs in their prc^
per situation ; but by the time she is fairly seated,
and at her work again, Charles is astride the sho-
vel, and traveling at the top of his speed.

I need not continue this picture. But every one
knows that it is not exaggerated. Such scenes do
often occur. Thousands of immortal spirits are

MATSRNAL AVTHORITf. M

trained up in this turbulence, and anarchy, and
noise, for time and for eternity. Now this mpth«r
"^U t^U you that she has not time to bring her chil-
dren into subjection. Whereas, had sh^ been £uth-
ful with each individual child, she would have saved
herself an immense amount of time and toil,

We will suppose the case of another mother, who
ha« the same work to perform. She ha^ taught her
children prompt and implicit obedience. She gives
thre$ of thein perhaps some blocks, in one comer of
the room, and tells them that they may play " huUd
houses" but that they must not make much noise,
and must not interrupt her, for she wishes to be
busy. The other three she places in another comer
of the room, with their slates, and tells them that
they may play " make pictures." The children, ac-
customed to such orderly arrangements, employ
themselves very quietly and happily for perhaps
three quarters of an hour. The mother goes on un-
interrupted in her work. Occasionally she raises
her eyes and says an encouraging word to her chil-
dren, now noticing the little architects in the cpraer,
and now glancing her eye at the (In^wi^ig? upon the
slates ; thus showing the children that she sympa-
thises with them, and takes an interest in their en-
joyments. The children are pleased and happy. The
mother is undisturbed.

36 VHE MOTHER AT HOME.

She does not let them continue their amusements
till they are weary of them. But after they have
played perhaps three quarters of an hour, she says,

** Come, children, you have played long enough ;
you may take up all your little hlocks and put them
away in the drawer."

" O, mother," says Maria, " do let me play a little
while longer, for I have got my house almost done."

" Well, you may finish it," says the judiciously
kind mother, " but tell me as soon as it is done."

In a few minutes Maria says, " There, mamma, see
what a large house I have built!" The mother looks
at it, and adds a pleasant word of encouragement,
and then tells them to put all their blocks in the pro-
per place. She tells the children with the slates to
hang them up, and to put away their pencils ; so
that, the next day, when slates and blocks are want-
ed, no time may be lost in searching for them.

Now which mother has the most time ? and which
mother has the happiest time ? And which mother
will find the most comfort in the subsequent charac-
ter and afiection of her children ?

Perhaps some one will say, this is a pleasing pic-
ture, but where are we to look for its reality ? It is
indeed to be regretted that such scenes are of soun-
frequent occurrence. But it is far from being true
that they do not occur. There are many such fami*

MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 37

lies of happy parents and affectionate children. And
these femilies are not confined to the wealthy and the
learned. It requires not wealth, and it reqmres not
extensive learning, to train up such a family. The
principle of gOFernment is simple and plain. It is to
begin with enforcing obedience to every command.
It is to establish the principle that a mother's word
is never to be disregarded. Every judicious parent
will, indeed, try to gratify her children in their rea-
sonable wishes. She will study to make them hap-
py ; but she will never allow them to gratify them-
selves in contradiction to her wishes.

To illustrate this, let us refer to the children play-
ing with the blocks. The mother telb them to put
up the blocks. Maria asks permission to play a few
moments longer, till she can finish her house. The
mother, desirous of making her children as happy as
she can, grants this reasonable wish. Here is a ju-
dicious indulgence. But suppose again that the chil-
dren had continued playing without regard to their
mother's command. They intend perhaps to conti-
nue their amusement only till they complete the pile
then in progress. Here is an act of direct disobedi-
ence. The children are consulting their own incli-
nations instead of the commands of their mother. A
judicious parent will not allow such an act to pass
unnoticed or unpunished. She may perhaps think,

Y 4

38 THS MOTHER AT HOXC.

considering the circumstances of the case, that a se^
rious reprimand is all that is required. But she wil^
not &il to seize upon the occasion to instill into their
minds a lesson of ohedience.

Is it said that hy noticing such little things a mo-
ther must be continually finding fault ? But it is not
a little thing for a child to disobey a mother's com-
mands. This one act of disregarding authority pre-
^pares the way for another. It is the commencement
of evil which must be resisted. The very first ap-
pearances of insubordination must be checked. There
are doubtless cases of trifling faults occurring, which
X wise parent will judge it expedient to overlook.
Children will be thoughtless and inadvertent. They
will occasionally err from strict propriety, without
any real intention of doing wrong. Judgment is here
requisite in deciding what things must be overlooked;
but we may be assured, I think, that direct and open
disobedience is not, in any case, to be classed among
the number of trifling feults. The eating of an apple
banished our first parents from paradise. The atro-
city of the ofience consisted in its disobedience of a
divine command.

Now, every mother has power to obtain prompt
obedience, if she commences with her children
when they are young. They are then entirely in her
hands. AI . their enjoyments are at her disposal

MATERNAL AUTHORltY. 39

Grod has thus given her all the power she needs to
govern and guide them as she pleases. We have
endeavored to show, hy the preceding illustrations,
that the fundamental principle of government is,
vjhen yotb do give a command, invariably enforce
its obedience. And God has given every mother the
power. He has placed in your hands a helpless babe,
entirely dependent upon yt)u ; so that if it disobeys
you, all you have to do is to cut off its sources of
enjoyment, or inflict bodily pain, so steadily and so
invariably that disobedience and suffering shall be
indissolubly connected in the mind of the child.
What more power can a parent ask for than God
has already given? And if we fail to use this power
for the purposes for which it was bestowed,, the sin
is ours, and upon us and upon our children must
rest the consequences. The exercise of discipline
must often be painful, but if you shrink from duty
here, you expose yourself to all that sad train of
woes which disobedient children leave behind them.
If you cannot summon sufficient resolution to de-
prive of enjoyment and inflict pain when it is neces-
sary, then you must feel that a broken heart and an
old age of sorrow will not be unmerited. And when
you look upon your dissolute sons and ungrateful
daughters, you must remember that the time was
when you might have checked their evil propensi-

40 THB MOTHER AT HOKX*

ties. If you loye momentary ease better than your
children's welfare and your own permanent happi-
ness, you cannot murmur at the lot you have freely
chosen. And when you meet your children at the
bar of God, and they point to you and say, " It was
through your neglect of duty that we are banished
from heaven, and consigned to endless wo," you
must feel what no tongue can tell. Ah 1 it is dread-
ful for a mother to trifle with duty. Eternal destinies
are committed to your trust. The influence you are
now exerting will go on, unchecked by the grave
or the judgment, and will extend onward through
those ages to which there is no end.

CHAPTER III.

MATERNAL AUTHORITY— CONTDJUBD.

Upon the subject of obedience there are a few
other suggestions of Importance to be made.

1. First then, there is a very great diversity in
the natural dispositions of children. Some are very
tender in their feelings, and easily governed by af-
fection. Others are naturally independent and self-

MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 41

willed. Sometimes a child gets its passions excited
and its will determined, and it cannot be subdued but
by a very great effort. Almost every faithful mother
18 acquainted with such contests, and she knows that
they often form a crisis in the character of the child.
If the child then obtain the victory, it is almost im-
possible for the mother afterward to regain her au-
thority. The child feels that he is the victor, and
his mother the vanquished ; and it is with very great
difficulty that he will be compelled to renounce hi*
independence. If, on the other hand, the mother
conquer, and the child is subdued, he feels that the
question is settled, and he has but little disposition to
resume hostilities with one who has proved herself
superior. I have known many such contests, severe
and protracted, which were exceedingly painful to a
parent's feelings. But, when once entered upon, they
must be continued till the child is subdued. It is not
safe, on an7/ account^ for the parent to give up and
retire vanquished.

The following instance of such a contest occurred
a few years since. A gentleman, sitting by his fire-
side one evening, with his family around him, took
the spelling-book and called upon one of his little
sons to come and read. John vms about four years
old. He knew all the letters of the alphabet perfect-
ly, but happened at that moment to be in rather a
Y 4*

42 T^E MOTHER AT HOME.

fiullen humor, and was not at all disposed to ^mtify
his father. Very reluctantly he came ais he was bid^
but when his father pointed with his knife to the
first letter of the alphabet, and said, " What letter is
that, John ?" he could get no answer. John looked
upon the book, sulky and silent.

" My son," said the father, pleasantly, " you know
the letter A.''

" I cannot say Jl," said John.

" You must," said the' father, in a serious and de-
cided tone. " What letter is that?"

John refused to answer. The contest was now
fairly commenced. John was willful, and determined
that he would not read. His father knew that it
would be ruinous to his son to allow him to conquer.
He felt that he must, at all hazards, subdue him. He
took him into another room, and punished him. He
then returned, and again showed John the letter. But
John still refused to name it. The father again re-
tired with his son, and punished him more severely.
But it was unavailing ; the stubborn child still re-
fused to name the letter, and when told that it was
At declared that he could not say A. Again the fa-
ther inflicted punishment as severely as he dared to
do it, and still the child, with his whole frame in agi-
tation, refused to yield. The father was suffering
from the most intense solicitude. He regretted ex-

MATERNAL ▲tTTRORtTT. 43

ceedingly that he had been drawn into the contest.
He had already punished his child with a severity
which he feared to exceed. And yet the willful suf-
ferer stood before him, sobbing and trembling, but
apparently as unyielding as a rock. I have often
heard that parent mention the acuteness of his feel-
ings at that moment* His heart was bleeding at the
pain which he had been compelled to inflict upon
his 8oa He knew that the question was now to
be settled, who should be master. And afier his son
had withstood so long and so much, he greatly feared
the result. The mother sat by, -suffering, of course,
most acutely, but perfectly satisfied that it was their
duty to subdue the child, and that in such a trying
hour a mother's feelings must not interfere. With a
heavy heart the father again took the hand of his son
to lead him out of the room for farther punishment.
But, to his inconceivable joy, the child shrunk from
enduring any more suffering, and cried, " Father, Til
tell the letter." The father, with feelings not easily
conceived, took the book and pointed to the letter.

"^' said John, distinctly and fully.

** And what is that ?'- said the &ther, pointing to
the next letter.

" B," said John.

'•And what is that r

•* C," he continued*

44 THE MOTHER AT HOME-

" And what is that ?" pointing again to the first
letter.

" JL," said the now humbled child.

" Now carry the book to your maher, and tell
her what the letter is."

" What letter is that, my son ?" said the mother.

**-A," said John. He was evidently perfectly sub-
dued. The rest of the children were sitting by, and
they saw the contest, and they saw where was the
victory. And John learnt a lesson which he never
forgot — that his father had an arm too strong for
him. He learned never again to wage such an un-
equal war&re. He learnt that it was the safest and
happiest course for him to obey.

But perhaps some one says it was cruel to pun-
ish the child so severely. Cruel! It was mercy
and love. It would indeed have been cruel had the
father, in that hour, been unfaithful, and shrunk
from his painful duty. The passions he was then,
with so much self-sacrifice, striving to subdue, if
left unchecked, would, in all probability, have been
a curse to their possessor, and have made him a
curse to his friends. It is by no means improbable
that upon the decisions of that hour depended the
character and happiness of that child for life, and
even for eternity. It is far from improbable that,
had he then conquered, all future efforts to sub-

MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 45

due him would have been in vain, and that he
would have broken away from all restraint, and
have been miserable in life, and lost in death. Cru-
elty! The Lord preserve children from the ten-
der mercies of those who so regard such self-deny-
ing kindness.

It is always best, if possible, to avoid such colli-
sions. Many children are taught implicit obedience,
vdthout ever entering into such a contest with their
parents. And it is certainly preferable to govern a
child by the mild procedure of ordinary discipline,
rather than enter into such a formidable conflict,
where great severity is often required. Wisdom,
therefore, teaches us to guard against giving a child
an opportunity of summoning all its energies to dis-
obey. They are peculiar occasions, and peculiar
moods of mind, which generally elicit this strength
of rebellious feeling. A little foresight will often
enable us, without surrender of authority, to calm
the rising feeling, instead of exciting it to its utmost
strength. We may sometimes, by judicious manage-
ment, check the rebellion in its first appearance, be-
fore it has gained sufficient strength to call all our
power into exercise to put it down.

As an illustration, let us suppose that James and
Mary are playing together in the evening, and
James gets vexed and strikes his sister. He has

46 THE MOTHER AT BOMB.

done this without any provocation, and ought to be
punished, and to ask his sister's forgiveness. But
the mother has perceived that, during the whole
day, James has manifested a very unpleasant dispo-
sition. He has been irritable and unyielding. She
sees that now he is excited and angry. Every pa-
'rent knows that such variations of feeling are not
uncommon. One day a child is pleasant and affec-
tionate ; the next, every thing seems to go wrong ;
little things vex, and the whole disposition seems to
be soured. The mother perceives that her son is .in
this frame of mind. H(i has done wrong, and ought
to ask his sister's forgiveness. But she knows that, in
this excited and unamiable frame of mind, he wiU be
strongly tempted to resist her authority. Uureason-
ably vexed as he is, it would be 010 of the hardest
acts of submission for him to ask the forgiveness of
his sister. If the mother tells him to do so, the temp-
tation to refuse is so strong, that, in all probability,
he will decline obeying. She must then punish
him. And here comes the contest, which must be
continued, if it is commenced, till the child submits.
Now, how is this contest to be avoided 1 By over-
looking the fault 1 Most certainly not. The mother
rises, takes James by the hand, and says, " My son,
you have been doing very wrong ; you are ill-hu-
mored, and must not stay with us any longer ; I will

MATXRNA& AUTHORITY. 47

carry you to bed." She accordingly leads liim away
to his chamber.

Just before leaving him for the night, she telb
hiip ill a kind but sorrowful tone, how much she is
displeased, and how much God must be displeased
with his conduct. As usual, she hears him say hk
prayers, or kneels by the bedside, and prays that
God will forgive him. She then leaves him to his
own reflections and to sleep.

He is thus punished for his &ult. And as he lies
in his bed, and hears his brothers and sisters happy
below stairs, he feels how much wiser and better it
is to be a good boy. In the morning he awakes.
Night has given repose to his excited feelings. He
thinks how unhappy his yesterday's misconduct
made him, and resolves to be more upon his guard
for the future. All his rebellious feelings are quell-
ed by the soothing influence of sleep. His passions
are not aroused. The mother can now operate upon
his mind without any fear of having a contest with
a determined and stubborn will.

When the children come down in the morning,
she call 3 James and Mary before her. Taking the
hand of each, she mildly says, " My son, you made
us all inhappy last night by striking your little
sister; I hope you are sorry for what you did."
•* Yes, mother, I am," says James ; being led easily

48 THB MOTHER AT HOME.

now to the feelings of penitence and submission, to
which, during the moments of irritation and excite-
ment, he could not, at least without great difficulty,
have been driven. Thus, by judicious management,
the desired object is attained, and perfectly attained,
while the contest is avoided. The fault is not over-
looked, and James is humbled. But had the mo-
ther, regardless of the child's peculiar state of feel-
ing, commanded him immediately to ask forgive-
ness of his sister, it would, in all probability, have
led to a scene actually painful to both mother and
son. And the final effect of the discipline would,
perhaps, have been less beneficial upon the mind of
the child. But cases will sometimes occur when it
is not possible thus to wave the strife. When such
an emergency rises, it is the duty of the parent
boldly and resolutely to meet it. If, from false feel-
ing, you then shnnk* you are recreant to the sacred
trust which God has committed to your care. Is it
kindness for a mother to let her child die, rather
than compel it to take the bitter prescription which
is to restore it to health and strength ? And is it
kindness to let those passions conquer, which, un-
subdued, will be, for time and eternityj a scourge to
their possessor? If there be any cruelty in the
world which is truly terrific, it is the cruelty of a
&]sely indulgent and un&ithful parent.

MATfiRNAL AUTHORITf. 49

Let it be particularly understood, however, that all
we here inculcate is firmness in the discharge of pa*
rental duty, in those coses where such collisions be-
tween parents and children are uuaToidable. They
can, however, in most cases, be avoided. If, for in-
stance, a child disobeys you, you can simply punish
it for the act of disobedience, and there let the diffi-
ctdty end. It is not necessary that you should al-
ways require that the thing at first commanded
should be done. You direct a little girl to give a book
to her sister. She refuses ; and you may take two
distinct courses to maintain your violated authority*
You may go and take the book yourself and give it
to the sister, and then inflict such a punishment upon
the disobedient one as the oflence deserves. Or, you
may insist upon obedience ; and to enforce it, enter
upon a contest which may be long and painful.
Now, whkhever of these plans you adopt, be firm
and decided in the execution of it. The form^ is,
however, in almost all cases, the wisest and best

In the above remarks allusion has been made to
the variations of feeling to which children are sub-
ject. No one, who has had any thing to do with
education, can have failed to observe this. Almost
every individual is conscious of seasons when he
seems to be afflicted with a kind of morbid sensitive-
ness. Our spirits often rise and &11 with bodily

Y. 6

50 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

health ; and he has gained a great victory over his
body, and a great triumph of mind, who can inva-
riably preserve the same calm and cheerful spirit,
undisturbed by harassing cares, or the irritations of
a diseased frame. The nervous system of some in-
dividuals is so delicately constructed, that an east
vrind, or a damp day, will completely unhinge the
mind. When we see some of the wisest and best of
men oppressed with these infirmities, we must learn
forbearance and sympathy with children. At such
times, a judicious mother, knowing that the irritabili-
ty is as much a bodily as a mental infirmity, will do
all in her power to calm and soothe. She will avoid
every thing calculated to jar the feelings, and will
endeavor, by mild amusements or repose to lull these
feelings asleep. By this method she will save the
child much unhappiness, and will promote an ami-
able and sweet disposition. Probably many children
have had their feelings permanently soured by utter
disregard of these variations of mind. The disposi-
tion of a child is of too delicate a texture to be han-
dled with a rough and careless grasp. Its affection-
ate and gentle feelings should be elicited by maternal
sympathy and love. And we should endeavor to as-
suage its occasional irritability, by calling away the
mind firom objects of unpleasant excitement, and al-
luring it to cheering contemplations.

MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 51

It is clear that there is a striking difference in the
natural dispositions of children ; but nothing can be
more evident than that a good disposition may be
soured by mismanagement, and that a child of natu-
rally unamiable feelings may, by judicious culture,
become mild and lovely. The cultivation of the dis-
position is an important part of education. Hence
the necessity of studying the moods and the feelings
of the child, and of varying the discipline to meet
these changes. Cases will undoubtedly arise, when
the parent will find it difficult to judge what is duty.
Such cases will, however, be unfrequent. The ob-
vious general policy is, when a child is in this ex-
cited state, to remove him as much as possible from
the power of temptation. And if he commits a feult
which it is necessary to notice, let the punishment
be of such a kind as is calculated to soothe him. For
mstance, give him a comfortable seat by the fire, and
tell him that he must not leave the chair for half an
hour. Place in his hand some pleasing book, or
some plaything which will amuse him. In this way
let the punishment be adapted to the peculiarity of
the moral disorder.

This is not the mockery of punishment which it
may seem. The child feels it to be real, and it is of
a nature to operate beneficially. Some faults, how-
ever, he may commit, which, under the circum-

52 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

Stances of the case, it may be inexpedient to notice.
He may speak peevishly to his sister. The mother
does not appear to notice it ; she, however, sees the
importance of immediately allaying this peevish
spirit, and she endeavors to plan some amusement
which will promote good humor. Perhaps she lays
down her work and joins the children in their amuse-
ments, till, through her happy influence, cheerfulness
and good humor are restored.

" Here, my son," perhaps she says, " I. should
like to have you take your slate, and sit down in
your chair, and see if you can draw some animal so
correctly that I can tell what it is. And Maria, you
may take your slate and chair, and sit by his side,
i^nd do the same."

The children are quite animated with their new
play. They are soon busily at work, and whispering
together, that their mother may not hear what ani-
mals they are drawing. By this simple artifice, the
little cloud of irritated feeling which was rising, is
entirely dispelled. Had the mother, on the other
hand, punished th^ child for the incidental peevish-
ness of remark, the mind would not have been so
speedily or so pleasantly brought into its desired
state. Or, had the mother taken no notice of the
occurrence, the disposition of the child would have
been injured by the allowed increase of the ill-humor.

MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 53

and, m all probability, a quarrel might soon have
ensued. Constant watchfulness;, on the part of the
mother, will soon enable her to foresee many dan-
gers, and prevent many difficulties.

2. Never punish when the child has not intention-
ally done wrong. Children are often very unjustly
punished. Things which are really wrong are over-
looked, and again, punishment is inflicted on account
of some accident, when the child is entirely innocent.
Such a course of procedure not only destroys, in the
mind of the child, the distinction between accident
and crime, but is in itself absolutely iniquitous. The
parent has all the power, and she may be the most
relentless tyrant, and the child can have no redress.
There is no oppression more cruel than that often
thus exercised by passionate parents over their chil-
dren. It is not unfrequently the case that a mother,
who does not intend to be guilty of injustice, neglects
to make a proper distinction between faults and ac-
cidents. A child is playing about the room, and ac-
cidentally tears its clothes, or breaks a window with
the ball which it is allowed to bounce upon the floor.
The mother, vexed with the trouble it will cause her,
hastily punishes the poor child. A child' may be
careless, and so criminally careless as to deserve
punishment. In that case, it ought not to be pu-
nished for the accident, but for the carelessness.

54 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

which is a feult. This injustice is f^x more exten-
3^ve\y practised than is genei-^Uy imagined. The
naogt con^mon cau^e of unjust punishn^ent, is con-
founding the accidental consequences of an act whh
the real guilt which a child incurred whilp perform-
ing that act. We are all too much inclined to esti
mate guilt hy consequences. A child who has been
permitted to tiimb upon the chairs, and take things
from the table, accidentally pushes oflf some valuable
article. The mother severely punishes the child.
Now, where did this child do wrong ? You never
taught him that he must not climb upon the table.
Of course, in that there was no disobedience, and he
was not conscious of doing any thing improper. If
merely a book had fallen, probably no notice would
have been taken of it. But the simple fact, that one
thing fell instead of another, cannot alter the nature
of the offence. If it had been the most valuable
watch which had fallen, and thus had been entirely
ruined, if it had occurred purely through accident,
the child deserves no punishment. Perhaps some
one says, there is no need of arguing a point which
is so clear. But is it not clear that such acts of in-
justice are very frequent ? And is not almost every
mother conscious that she is not sufficiently guarded
upon this point ? A mother must have great control
over her own feelings — a calmness and composure

MATERNAL AUTHORITV. 55

of spirit not easily disturbed — or she will be occa-
sionally provoked to acts of injustice by the misfor-
tunes of which her children are the innocent cause.

Does any one ask what should be done in such
cases as the one referred to 1 The answer is plain.
Children ought to be taught not to do what will ex-
pose property to injury; and then, if they do what is
thus prohibited, consider them guilty, whether injury
results or not. If the child, in the above-named case,
had been so taught, this would have been an act of
direct disobedience. And a faithful mother would
probably pursue some such course as this. Without
any manifestation of anger, she would calmly ana
seriously say to her son,

" My son, I have often told you that you must not
climb upon the table. You have disobeyed me."

" But, mother," says the son, '* I did not mean to
do any harm."

** I presume you did not, my son ; I do not accuse
* you of doing harm, but of having disobeyed me.
The injury was accidental, and you are not account-
able for it ; but the disobedience was deliberate, and
very wrong."

•* I am very sorry to punish you, but I must do it.
It is my duty."

She would then punish him, either by the infliction
of pain, or by depriving him, for a time, of some of

56 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

his usual privileges or enjoyments. The punish-
ment, however, would be inflicted for the disobedi-
ence, and not for the accident which attended the
disobedience. The child could not but feel that he
was justly condemned.

But the question still remains, what is to le cone,
upon the original supposition that the child had
never been taught that it was wrong to climb upon
the table, or to throw his ball about the room ? In
that case the mother has, manifestly, no right to
blame the child. The fault is hers, in not having
previously taught him the impropriety of such con-
duct. All she can now do, is to improve the occa-
sion, to show him the danger of such amusements,
and forbid them in future.

If the child be very young, the mother will find it
necessary occasionally to allude to the accident, that
the lesson may be impressed upon the mind. If she
did not do this, the occurrence might soon pass from
his memory, and in a few days he might again,
through entire forgetfalness, be engaged in his for-
bidden sports.

Allowance must also be made for the ignorance of
a child. You have, perhaps, a little daughter, eigh-
teen months old, who often amuses herself in tearing
to pieces some old newspaper which you give her.
It is, to her, quite an interesting experiment. Some

MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 57

day you happen to have your attention particularly
Qccupied for a length of time, and at last raise your
eyes, to see what keeps her so quiet upon the floor.
Behold, she has a very valuable book in her hand,
which she has almost entirely ruined ; and your first
impulse is to punish her, or, at least, severely to re-
prove her for the injury. But has she really been
doing any thing deserving of punishment or censure ^
Certainly not. How can she know that it is proper
for her to tear one piece of paper, but wrong for her
to tear another ? She has been as innocently em-
ployed as she ever w^as in her life. The only proper
^ing to be done, in such a case, is to endeavor to
teach the child that a book must be handled with care,
and must not be torn. But how can she be taught
this without punishing her ? She may be taught by
the serious tone of your voice, and the sad expres-
sion of your countenance, that she has been doing
something which you regret. In this way she may
be easily taught the difference between a book and
a newspaper.

A little boy, about two years old, was in the habit
of amusing himself by scribbling upon paper with
a pencil. The father came into the room one- day,
and found that the little fellow had exceedingly de-
feced a new book. The marks of his pencil were all
over it. Perfectly unconscious of the mischief he

L

58 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

was doing, the child continued his employment as
the fether entered. In many cases, the parent, in irri-
tation, would have roughly taken the book away, and
inflicted a severe blow upon the cheek of the child.
I thought I perceived that this was the first emotion
in the mind of this parent, though he was of an un-
usually calm and collected spirit. If it was, however,
he immediately saw its impropriety ; for, approach-
ing his child, he said^ in a perfectly mild and plea-
sant tone,

" O ! my son, my son, you are spoiling the book."

The child looked up in amazement.

" That is a book, my son ; you must not scribble
upon that. See here," turning over the leaves, " you
will spoil father's book. Here is some paper for you.
You may write upon this, but you never must write
in the book."

The father then took the book, injured as it was,
and laid it aside, without any exhibition of excited feel-
ing. Now, how manifestly is this the proper course
to pursue, in such a case ; and yet how few children
are there who, in such circumstances, would have
escaped undeserved punishment.

These illustrations are sufficient to show the im-
portance of making allowance for ignorance, and for
accidents. And they also show how frequently chil-
dren suffer, when they are not to blame. If a child

MATBIKAL AUTHORITY. 59

IS punished when innocent, as well as when guilty,
the distinction between right and wrong is obliterated
from his mind. Hence it becomes an important rule
in &mily government, never to punish when the child
has not intentionally done wrong.

3. Never think thai your child is too young to
obey. We are ingenious in framing excuses for ne-
glecting our duty with our children. At one time
they are too young ; again they are too sick. Some
parents always find an excuse, of one kind or ano-
ther, for letting their children have their own way.
A child may, at a very early age, be taught obedi-
ence. We can easily teach a kitten, or a little dog,
that it must not touch the meat which is placed be-
fore the fire, that it must leave the room when bidden,
and a thousand other acts of ready obedience.

A Frenchman has recently collected a large num-
ber of canary birds for a show. He has taught them
such implicit obedience to his voice, as to march
them in platoons across the room, and directs them
to the ready performance of many simple manoBuvres.

Now, can it be admitted that a child, fifteen months
or two years of age, is inferior in understanding to
a canary bird ? And must the excuse be made for
such a child, that he does not know enough to be
taught obedience? A very judicious mother, who
has brought up a large family of children, all of

60 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

whom are now in situations of respectability and use-
fulness, remarked that it was her practice to obey
her children for the first year of their life, but ever
after she expected them to obey her. She, of course,
did not mean by this remark, that the moment the
child was one year of age, a sudden and total change
took place in her management. During the early
months of its infancy she considered it to be her duty
to do every thing in her power to make the child
comfortable and happy. She would endeavor to an-
ticipate all its wants. She would be obedient to the
, wishes of the child. But, by the time the child was
one year of age, she considered it old enough to be
brought under the salutary regulations of a well dis-
ciplined family.

I am aware that many parents will say that this
is altogether too early a period to commence the go-
vernment of a child, and others equally numerous,
perhaps, will say that it is too late ; that a beginning
should be made at a much earlier period. In &ct,
the principle which really ought to guide in such
a case, is this : that the authority of the mother ought
to be established over the child as soon as it is able
to understand a command or prohibition expressed
by looks and gestures. This is at a much earlier
period than most parents imagine. Let the mother
who doubts it try the experiment, and see how easily

MATERNAL AUTHORXTY. 61

she can teach her child that he must not touch the
tongs or andirons ; or that, when sitting in her laj^
at table, he must not touch the cups and saucers. A
child may be taught obedience in such things then,
as well as at any period of its life. And how much
trouble does a mother save herself, by having her
child thus early taught to obey ! How much pain
and sorrow does she save her child by accustoming
it, in its most tender years, to habits of prompt obe-
dience.

4. Guard against too miich severity. By pursu-
ing a steady course of efficient government, severity
will very seldom be found necessary. If, when pu-
nishment is inflicted, it is done with composure and
with solemnity, occasions for punishment will be
very unfrequent. Let a mother ever be affectionate
and mild with her children. Let her sympathise with
them in their little sports. Let her gain their confi-
dence by her assiduous efforts to make them happy.
And let her feel, when they have done wrong, not
irritated, but sad ; and punish them in sorrow, but
not in anger. Fear is a useful and a necessary prin-
ciple in family government. Grod makes use of it in
governing his creatures. But it is ruinous to the
disposition of a child, exclusively to control him by
this motive. How unhappy must be that family where
the parent always sits with a face deformed with
Y 6

62 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

scowls, and where the voice is always uttered in
tones of severity and command 1 Such parents we do
see. Their children fear them. They are always un-
der restraint in their presence ; and home becomes
to them an irksome prison, instead of the happy re-
treat of peace and joy. But where the mother greets
her children with smiles ; and rewards their efforts
to please her, with caresses ; and addresses them in
tones of mildness and affection, she is touching those
chords in the human heart which vibrate in sweet
harmony ; she is calling into action the noblest and
the loveliest principles of our nature. And thus does
she prepare the way for every painful act of disci-
pline to come with effectual power upon the heart.
The children know that she does not love to punish.
In all cases in which it can be done, children should
thus be governed by kindness. But when kindness
fails, and disobedience ensues, let not the mother he-
sitate for a moment to fall back upon her last resort,
and punish as severely as is necessary. A few such
cases will teach almost any child how much better
it is to be obedient than disobedient.

By being thus consistent and decided in govern-
ment, and commencing with the infancy of each
child, in all ordinary cases great severity may be
avoided. And it is never proper for a parent to be
harsh, and unfeeling, and forbidding, in her inter-

MATERNAL AUTHORITY.

course with her children. The most efficient family
government may be almost entirely administered by
afllection, if it be distinctly understood that disobe*
4Jence cannot pass unpunished. I cannot but pity
those unhappy children who dare not come to their
parents in 'confidence and love ; who are continually
fearing stem looks and harsh words ; and who are
conseauently ever desirous to get away from home,
that they may enjoy themselves. Every effort should
be made to make home the most desirable place ; to
gather around it associations of delight ; and thus to
form in the mind of your child an attachment for
peaceful and purifying enjoyments. This will most
strongly fortify his mind against vice. And when he
leaves the paternal roof, he will ever luok back \vith
fond recollections to its joys, and with gratitude to
those who made it the abode of so much happiness.
In future years, too, when your children become the
heads of families, they will transmit to their children
the principles which you have implanted. Thus
may the influence of your instructions extend to
thousands yet unborn.

How little do we think of the tremendous respon-
sibilities which are resting upon us ; and of the wide
influence, either for good or for evil, which we are
exerting! We are setting in operation a train of
causes which willjgp down through all coming time.

64 THE MOTHER AT HOME«

Long after we have gone to our eternal home, our
words and pur actions will bq aiding in the forma-
tion of character. We cannot then arrest the causes
which our lives have set in progress, and they will
go on elevating immortals to virtue and to heaven,
or urging them onward in passion, and sin, and wo.

CHAPTER IV.

THE mother's difficulties.

The remarks which. have already been made are
«o obvious, that one is led to inquire, why is family
government generally so defective ? Why do so few
succeed in obtaining prompt obedience ? There are
many causes operating to produce this result. The
rules of discipline may be simple and plain, and yet
many motives may influence us to shrink from en-
forcing them.

1. One great obstacle is the want of self-control
,on the part of parents. How few persons are there
who have gained that conquest over self, which
enables them to meet the various vicissitudes of life
with calmness and composure ! How few are there
who are not, occasionally at least, thrown oif their
guard, and provoked to the exhibition of excited and
irritated feeling ! And can a mother expect to govern

1H£ mother's DIFFICULTIB8. 65

her child when she cannot govern herself? Family
government must most emphatically begin at home.
It must begin in the bosom of the parent. She must
learn to control herself; to subdue her own passions;
she must set her children an example of meekness
and of equanimity, or she must reasonably expect
that all her efforts to control their passions will be
ineffectual. A child gets irritated and strikes his
sister ; and the mother gets irritated and whips the
child. Now, both mother and child have been guilty
of precisely the san^ crime. They have both been
angry, and both in anger have struck another. And
what is the effect of this sinful punishment ? It may
make the child afraid to strike his sister again ; but
will it teach that child that he has done wrong ; that
it is wicked to be angry ? Can it have any salutary
effect upon his heart ? He sees that his mother is
irritated, and thus is he taught that it is proper for
him to be angry. He sees that when his mother is
irritated she strikes ; and thus is he taught that the
same course is proper for him. The direct effect of
the punishment is to feed the flame and strengthen
the inveteracy of passion. In such a course as this
there is no moral instruction, and no salutary disci-
pline. And yet a mother who has not conquered
self, who cannot restrain the violence of her own
passions, will often thus punish. When we see such

66 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

a mother with passionate and tuibulent children, no
second question need be asked why they are not gen-
tle and obedient. And when we reflect how very
seldom it is that we see an individual who may not
be occasionally provoked to act from the irritation oi
the moment, we cannot wonder that the family so
often presents a scene of uproar and misrule.

This self-control, at all times, and under all cir-
cumstances, is one of the most important and n^ost
diflicult things to be acquired. Many parents ha^ve,
from infancy, been unaccustomed to restraint, ?ind
they find a very great struggle to be necessary to
smother those feelings which will sometimes rise
almost involuntarily. But we should ever remember
that this must be done, or we cannot be faithful to
our children. We must bring our own feelings and
our own actions under a system of rigid discipline,
or it will be in vain for us to hope to curb the pas-
sions and restrain the conduct of those who are look-
ing to us for instruction and example. There will
many cases occur which will exceedingly try a mo-
ther's patience. Unless naturally blest with a pecu-
liarly quiet spirit, or habituated from early life to
habits of self-government, she will find that she has
very much to do with her own heart. This point we
would most earnestly urge, for it is of fundamental
importance. Anger is temporary insanity. And

THE mother's difficulties. 67

what can be more deplorable than to see a mother
in the paroxysm of irritation, takmg vengeance on
her child ? Let a mother feel grieved, and manifest
her grief when her child does wrong. Let her, with
calmness and reflection, use the discipline which the
case requires. But never let her manifest irritated
feeling, or give utterance to an angry expression. If
her own mind is thus kept serene and unimpassion-
ed, she will instruct by example as well as precept.
She will easily know, and more judiciously perform
her duty. And the superiority of her own conduct
will command the respect and the admiration of her
children. And uptil this is done, it will be impossi-
ble for a mother to enforce the rules of discipline,
simple and obvious as those rules are.

2. Another grefiit obstacle in the way is the want
of resolution. It is always painful to a jmrent's feel-
ings to deprive a child of any reasonable enjoyment,
or to inflict pain. Hence we are ingenious in firaming
apologies to relieve ourselves from this duty. Your
child does wrong, and you know that he ought to hp
punished ; but you stiink from the duty of inflict-
ing it. Now,.of what avail is it to be acquainted with
the rules of discipline, if we cannot summpu resolu-
tion to enforce those rules ? It will do no good to
read one book and another upon the subject of edu-
cation, unless we are willing, with calm and steady

68 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

decision, to punish our children when the occasion
requires. It is this weak indulgence, this wicked
refusal to perform painful duty, which has ruined
thousands of families. A mother will sometimes
openly remonstrate with a father for punishing a
stubborn child. She will call him cruel and unfeel-
ing, and confirm her child in his willfulness, by her
wicked sympathy and caresses.

What can be expected from such a course as
this ? Such a mother is the most cruel and merci-
less enemy which her child can have. Under such
an influence he will probably grow up in wretched-
ness, not only to curse the day in which he was
bom, but to heap still bitterer curses upon the mo-
ther who bore him. You can do nothing more
ruinous to your child ; you can do nothing which
will more effectually teach him to hate and despise
you ; 'you can do nothing which will, with more
certainty, bring you in sorrow and disgrace to the
grave, than thus to allow maternal feelings to in
fluence you to neglect painful but necessary acts of
discipline.

I would ask the mother who reads this book, if
•he has not often been conscious of a struggle be-
tween the sense of duty and inclination. Duty has
told you to punish your child. Inclination has urg-
ed you to overlook its disobedience. Inclination has

THE mother's pifficulties. 69

iriumphedj aud your child has retired victorious,
and of course confirmed in his sin. Be assured that
thus, in your own heart, lies one of the greatest ob-
Btecles to your success ; and until this obstacle be
surmounted, every thing else will be unavailing. It
would by no means be difficult to fill this volume
with cases illustrative of this fact, and of the awful
consequences resulting.

A few years since, a lady was left a widow, with
several little sons. She loved them most devotedly.
The afiiiction which she had experienced in the loss
of her husband, fixed her affections with more in-
tensity of ardor and sensitiveness upon her children.
They were her only hope. Sad and joyless as she
was, she could not endure to punish them, or to de-
prive them of a single indulgence. Unhappy and
misguided woman ! Could she expect to escape the
consequences of such a course ? She was living up-
on the delusive hope that her indulgences would
ensure their love. And now one of these sons is
seventeen years of age, a stout, and turbulent, and
self-willed boy. He is altogether beyond the in-
fluence of maternal restraint. He is the tyrant of
the family, and his afflicted mother is almost entire-
ly broken-hearted by this accumulation of sorrow.
The rest of the children are coming on in the same
path. She sees and trembles in view of the calami-

70 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

ty, which it is now too late to avert. It would be
far happier for her to be childless, as well as a
widow. Her children are her oppressors. She is
their slave. It is impossible now to retrace her
steps, or to retrieve the injury she has done her
children and herself. Hardly any situation can be '
conceived more truly pitiable. And what has caus-
ed this magnitude of sorrow ? Simply the mother's
reluctance to do her duty. She looked upon her
poor fatherless children with all the tender emotions
of a widowed mother, and could not bear to throw
around them necessary restraint, and insist upon
obedience to her commands. She knew perfectly
well, that when they were disobedient, they ought
to be punished ; that it Avas her duty to enforce her
authority. It was not her ignorance which caused
this dreadful wreck of happiness ; it was the want
of resolution — that fond, and foolish, and cruel ten-
derness, which induced her to consult her own feel-
ings rather than the permanent welfare of her
children.

The reader will, perhaps, inquire whether this
statement is a true account of a real case. It is a
true account of a thousand cases all over our land.
Mothers, we appeal to your observation, if you do
not see, every where atound you, these wrecks of
e8rthly hopes. Have we not warnings enough to

THE mother's difficulties. 71

avoid this fktal rock ? and yet it is the testimony of
all who have moved about the world with an ob-
serving eye, that this parental irresolution is one of
the most prominent causes of domestic afflictions.

There must be energy of character, or acts of dis*
cipline will be so inefficient as to do more harm
than good. The spirit will be irritated, but not sub-
dued. Punishment becomes a petty vexation, and its
influence is most decidedly pernicious. It is of the
utmost importance, that when it is inflicted, it should
be serious and effectual. And it is certain that the
mother who adopts prompt and decisive measures,
will go forward with far less trouble to herself and
her child, and will, on the whole, inflict far less
pain than the one who adopts the feeble and dila-
tory measures which we so often see. While the
one must be continually threatening, and inflicting
that mockery of punishment which is just enough
to irritate the temper and spoil the disposition ; the
other will usually find her word promptly obeyed,
and will very seldom find it necessary to punish
atalL

But few persons have obtained a more correct
knowledge of human nature than Bonaparte ; and
but few have ever acquired sach a control over the
human mind. It is said that there was once a
formidable mob rioting in the streets of Paris, ana

72 THE MOTU'ER AT HOME.

carrying devastation wherever they went. One of
his generals was sent out with a body of infantry to
disperse the mob. He read the riot act. They
laughed at it. He threatened to fire upon them.
They defied him. He opened upon them a fire
with blank cartridges. As volley after volley was
discharged, and not a man fell, the mob laughed to
scorn their impotent efforts. At last the general was
compelled to load with ball. But by this time the
passions of the mob were so excited, and they had
become so familiar with the harmless discharge of*
musquetry, that they stood firm when the ball
came. They welt gradually prepared for it. A
pitched battle was the result ; and it was not till af-
ter an immense massacre that the infuriated popu*
lace were dispersed.

At another time, when the ravages of a Parisian
mob were scattering terror through the city, Bona-
parte led on, at a quick step, several companies of ar-
tillery. Immediately upon arriving at the scen^ of
devastation, the soldiers, retiring to the right and
left, opened upon the riotous multitude the formidable
camion. Not a word was said ; not a moment of he-
sitation intervened ; but at once the voice of Bona-
parte was heard in the thunders of the artillery, and
the compact mass of the multitude was ploughed
through by th* cannon ball. The mob, unprepared

THE mother's difficulties. fB

for such decisive measures, and terrified at the havoc,
fled with the utmost precipitancy in every direction.
Then did he pour in his'blank cartridges. Peal after
peal thundered through the streets, adding to the
consternation of the affrighted multitude, and in less
than five minutes scarce a solitary straggler was te
be seen. Such were the measures which this extra-
ordinary man adopted, and which gave him an as-
cendancy over the public mind almost unparalleled
in the history of man. Some one afterward sug-
gested to him that it might have been more merciful,
if he had first tried the effect of blank charges, and
then, if necessary, had proceeded to extremities. But
he very justly replied, that by such tardy measures
the mob would have had time to collect their cou-
rage, and many more would have fallen before they
would have fled. The principle illustrated in this
anecdote is of universal application. Real benevo-
lence prompts to decisive measures. The mother
( who first coaxes ; then threatens ; then pretends to
punish \ then punishes a little ; is only making trou-
ble for herself and sorrow for her family. But, on
the other hand, if she promptly meets acts of disobe-
dience, and with firmness, and inflicts necessary pu-
nishment decidedly, and at once, she is, in the moat
effectual way, promoting her own happiness, and the
best wel&re of her child.

74 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

A parent is much more prone to be thus fetally
indulgent, if a child is of a feeble and sickly consti-
tution. Such children are very generally spoiled.
How strange, when God, in bis mysterious provi-
dence, lays his hand upon some little one, and causes
it to languish in weakness and in suffering, that the
parent on that very account should neglect that
child's welfare, and allow its passions to grow un-
checked, its will to be stubborn and unsubdued!
The mother perhaps is willing to do her duty with
her more robust son. She will do all in her power
to control his passions, and make him a good and
happy boy. But the poor little sufferer she will in-
dulge in all its caprices, till passion is strong and irri-
tability is unconquerable, and the deeper sorrows of
the mind are thus added to the pains and weakness
of the body. O how much cruelty there is in the
world which goes by the false name of tenderneai^ or
love ! Mother, have you a sick and suffering child?
You are to that child a guardian angel, if with mild
and affectionate decision you enforce your authority.
Punish that child if it be necessary to teach him ha-
bitually and promptly to dbey. If you do not do this,
you are the bitterest enemy your child can have.
You are doin<^ that which has the most direct ten-
dency to perpetuate its feebleness and to promote its
misery. And yet I know that some mothers will

THE mother's difficulties. T5

still say, "What, speak authoritatively, and eyen
puDish a poor little child when sick ! How unfeel-
ing !" There, there is the difficuhy. Unkind to do
all in your power to make jrour child patient and
happy ! A little girl we will suppose cuts deeply
her hand. Her mother is so kind that she will not
let a physician he called, for tear he should hurt her
daughter in probing and dressing the wound. Day
after day this kind mother beholds, the increasing
and extending inflammation. She strives in her igno-
rance to assuage the agony of the wound, tiD, after
many days of excruciating suffering, the physician
is called to save her daughter's life by amputating
the limb. When the accident first occurred, a few
moments of attention and trifling pain would have
prevented all these dreadful consequences.

But the conduct of that mother is far more cruel,
who will allow the miruPs inflammation to increase
and extend unchecked ; who, rather than inflict the
momentary pain which is necessary to subdue the
«tabbom will, and allay irritation, will allow the
moral disorder to gain such strength as to be incur-
able. The consequences thus resulting are far more
disastrous. They affect man's immortal nature, and
go on through eternity. There is no cruelty so de-
structive as this.

Yet let it not be supposed that austerity is recom

76 THE IIOTHER AT H0M9*

m^ded. This is unnecessary, and is always to be
avoided. Let the tones of the voice be affectionate
aj^d soothing. Let the mother sympathise with her
whole hea^ in the trials and sufferings of ^^er child.
L^t her be ingenious in devices for its amusement*
But le^ her not ruis^ her precioua ^rei^sui^e by indulg-
ing it in peevishness ox disobedience. Your child
cannot possibly be happy, unless taught to subdue
his passions and to be obedient to your will. We
would have kindness, and goutiness, and love, ever
diffusing joy through the family circle. But if you
would see your children happy, and be happy your-
self, you must, when your children are in sickness,
as well as when they are in health, summon suffi-
cient resolution to ensure propriety of behavior and
obedience to your commands.

Be firm then in doing your duty invariably. Ne-
ver refrain from governing your child because it is
painfiil to maternal feelings. It is certainly wisely
ordered by Providence that it should be painful to a
parent's heart to inflict suffering upon a child. He
who can punish without sympathy, without emotions
of sorrow, cannot punish with a right spirit Even
our Father in heaven does not willingly afflict his
children. But does he on that account withhold his
discipline, and allow us to go on in sin unpunished ?
We must, in earnest prayer, look to him for strength

THE xothee's DirricuLTnes* 77

and wisdom, and religiously do our duty. We
must be willing to ha^e our own hearts bleed, if we
can thus save our children from the ravages of those
passions which, imchecked, will ruin their useful-
ness and peacew

A child, a short time since, was taken sick with
tlMit dangerous disorder, the croup. It was a child
most ardently beloved, and ordinarily very obedient
But in this state of uneasiness and pain he refused
to take the medicine which it was needful without
delay to administer. The &ther, finding him reso-
lute, immediately punished his sick and suffering
son. Under these circumstances, and fearing that his
son might soon die, it must have been a most severe^
trial to the father. But the consequence was, that
the child was taught that sickness was no excuse for
disobedience. And while his sickness continued, he
promptly took whatever medicine was prescribed,
and was patient and submissive. Soon the child was
well. Does any one say this was cruel ? It was one
of the noblest acts of kindness which could have been
performed. If the father had shrunk from duty here,
it is by no means improbable that the life of the child
would have been the forfeit And this is the way to
acquire strength of resolution, hy practising strength
of resolution in every case. We must readily and
promptly do our duly, be it ever so painfuU

7S TH£ MQfHER AT HOMC^

9. Another great obstacle in the way of trainings
1^ a happy and mrtucait family, is the occasimak
wamt of Mrmony between parents on the su^j^ct of
edtbcation. Sometimes, when a father is anxious to
do bis duty, the mother is a weak and foolish woman,
who thinks that every punishment, and every depri-
vation of indulgence, is cruelty to her children. And
when any one of them is punished, she will, by her
catesses, do away the effect of the discipline, and
convey to the mind of the child the impression that
his fiither is cruel and unjust. A man who has form-
ed so unhappy a connection is indeed in a deplo-
rable condition. And if his wife is incapable of being
convinced of the ruinous consequences of such a
course, he must take upon himself the whole duty
of government. But as I am not now writing to fit*
thers, I must turn from this case to another.

It not unfrequently happens that a judicious and
fiuthful mother is connected with a husband whose
principles and example are any thing but what she
could desire. In such cases, not only does the whole
government of the fiunily devolve upon the mother,
but the influence of the father is such as, in a great
degree, to counteract all her exertions. This is in-
deed a trying situation. It is, however, for from be-
ing a hopeless one. You must not give up in de8->
pair, but let the emergencies of the case rouse yoo tQ

THE mother's DtPFlCUtTIE84 79

more constant watchfulness, and more persevering
and vigorous effort. If a wife be judicious and con*
sistent in her exertions, a father, in abnost all cases,
will soon feel confidence in her management of her
family, and will very gladly allow her to bear all the
burden of taking care of the children. Such a &ther
is almost necessarily, much of the time, absent from
home, and when at home, is not often in a mood to
enjoy the society of his family. Let such a mother
teach her children to be quiet and still when their
father is present. Let her make every efibrt to ac-
custom them to habits of industry. And let her do
every thing in her power to induce them to be res-
pectful, and obedient, and affectionate to their fa-
ther. This course is indeed the best which can be
adopted to reclaim the unhappy parent. The more
cheerful you can make home to him, the stronger
are the inducements which are presented to draw
him away from scenes into which he ought not to
enter.

It is true there is no situation more difficult than
the one we are now describing. But, that even these
difficulties are not insurmountable, ikcts have not un-
frequently proved. Many cases occur, in which the
mother triumphantly surmounts them all, and rears
up a virtuous and happy family. Her husband is
most brutally intemperate ; and I need not here de-

80 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

pict the scenes through which such a mother is called
to pass. She sees, howerer, that the wel&re of the h*
mily is dependent upon her, and accordingly nerves
her heart, resolutely, to meet her responsibilities. She
commences, in the earliest in&ncy of her children,
teaching them implicit obedience. She binds them
to her with those ties from which they never would
be able or desirous to break. The most abundant
success rewards her efibrts. The older her children
grow, the more respectfU and attentive they become,
for the more clearly they see that they are indebted
to their mother for salvation from their Other's dis-
grace and wo. Every sorrow of such a mother is al«
leviated by the sympathy and affection of her sons.
She looks around upon them with feelings of mater-
nal gratification, which no language can describe.
They feel the worth and the dignity of her charac-
ter. Though her situation in life may be humble,
and though her mind may not be stored witji know-
ledge, her moral worth, and her judicious govern-
ment, command their reverence.

In a &mily of this sort, in a neighboring state, one
cold December night, the mother was sitting alone
by the fire, between the hours of nine and ten, wait-
ing for the return of her absent husband. Her sons,
fiitigued with the labors of the day, had all retired to
rest. A little before ten« her husband came m from

TH£ mother's difficulties. 81

the neighboring store, where he had passed the even-
ing with his degraded associate. He insisted upon
caning up the boys at that unseasonable hour, to send
into the wood lot for a load of wood. Though there
was an ample supply of ^el at the house, he would
not listen to reason, but stamped and swore that the
boys should go. The mother, finding it utterly in
Ta^n to oppose his wishes, called her sons, and told
them that their father insisted upon their going with
the team to the wood lot. She spoke to them kindly ;
told them she was sorry they must go ; but, said she,
*• Remember that he is your father." Her sons were
full grown young men. But at their mother's voice
they immediately rose, and, without a murmur,
brought out the oxen, and went to the woods. They
had perfect confidence in her judgment and her ma-
nagement. While they were absent, their mother was
busy in preparing an inviting supper for them upon
their return. The drunken father soon retired. About
midnight the sons finished their task, and entering
the house, found their mother ready to receive them
with cheerfulness and smiles. * A bright fire was
blazing on the hearth. The room was warm and
pleasant. With keen appetites and that cheerfulness
of spirits which generally accompanies the perform-
ance of duty, those children sat down with their
m^eh-loved parent to the repast she had provided,

82 THI MOTHER AT HOMl.

and soon after all were reposing in the quietude and
the silence of sleep.

Many a mother has thus been the guardian and
the savior of her family. She has brought up her
sons to industry, and her daughters to virtue. And in
her old age she has reaped a rich reward for all her
toil, in the affections and the attentions of her grate-
ful children. She has struggled, in tears and dis-
couragement, for many weary years, till at last
God has dispelled all the gloom, and filled her
heart with joy in witnessing the blessed results of
her fidelity. Be not, therefore, desponding. That
which has once been done, may be done again.

From what has been said in this chapter, it ap-
pears that self-control and resolation are the two all-
important requisites in family government. With
these two qualifications, which a person is inexcus-
able in not possessing, almost every other obstacle
may be surmounted. Without these, your toil and
sdicitude will, in all probability, be in vain.

Your faithful exertions, attended with God's or-
dinary blessing, will open to you daily new sources
of enjoyment in the unfolding virtues and expand-
ing faculties of your children. Your decisive go-
vernment will, most undoubtedly, be rewarded with
the affection and respect of those whom you are
training up to usefulness and happiness. And when

' FAULT* AND SRROR0. 83

old age comes, your children will welcome you to
their homes, and rejoice to give you a seat by their
fire-side, and by unremitted attentions will do all in
their power to prove how deeply they feel that debt
of gratitude which never can be fully repaid. Such
joys will obliterate the remembrance of all present
toils and sorrows. Let these hopes cheer you ♦« "c
on rejoicing in the path of duty.

CHAPTER V.

FAULTS AMD BRROR«.

There are many faults in fiunily goyemment»
which have been handed down from generation to
generation, and have become almost universally
difiused. They are so general, and we have been so
long accustomed to them, that their glaring impro*
priety escapes our notice. The increasing interest
now feh in the subject of education, by leading pa-
rents to read and to think, has taught many to avoid
those errors which still very generally prevail.
There are many parents who have not facilities for
obtaining books upon this subject, and who have
not been led to reflect very deeply upon their w-

84 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

sponsibilities. Some of these errors are such, that
an apology seems ahnost necessary for cautioning
mothers against them, since common sense so
plainly condemns them. But let it be remembered,
how large a portion of the mothers of our land are,
by their situation, deprived of those sources of in-
formation and excitements to thought, which God
has conferred upon others.

1. Do not talk about children in their presence.
We are very apt to think that children do not un-
derstand what we say to one another, because they
are unable to join in the conversation themselves.
But a child's comprehension of language is far in
advance of his ability to use it. I have been much
surprised at the result of experiments upon this sub-
ject, A little child creeping upon the floor, and who
could not articulate a single word, was requested to
carry a piece of paper across the room and put it
in a chair. The child perfectly comprehended the
direction, and crept across the room, and did as he
was bidden. An experiment or two of this kind
will satisfy any one how far a child's mind is in
advance of his power to express his ideas. And yet,
when a child is three or four years old, parents will
relate in their presence shrewd things which they
have said and done ; sometimes even their acts of
disobedience will be mentioned with a smile The

FAULTS AND ERRORS. 86

following conversation once passed between a lady
ana a mother, whose child, three years of age, was
standing by her side.

** How does little Charles do ? " said the lady.

*• O,'* replied the mother, with a smile, " he is
pretty well, but he is the greatest rogue you ever
saw ; I can do nothing with him."

** Why 7 " said the lady ; " he does not look like
a stubborn child."

" No," the mother replied, "he has not a bad dis-
position, but," she continued, smiling, " he is so
fond of mischief that I can never make him mind
me. He knows that he must not touch the andirons,
but just before you came in he went and put one of
his fingers on the brass, and looked me directly m
the face. I told him he must take off his hand ; and
he put another finger on. I tried to look cross at
him ; but he, instead of stopping, rubbed his whole
hand over the brass, and then ran away, laughing
as heartily as he could. He did it, I suppose, on
purpose to plague me, he is such a rogue."

We insert this rather undignified story, that the
mothers who may read this chapter may know ex-
actly what we mean by the caution we are urging.
Now, to say nothing of that maternal unfaithfulness
which would permit such acts of disobedience, how
ruinous upon the mind of the child must be the ^f

T 8

86 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

feet of hearing his conduct thus spoken of and ap-
plauded ! This perverse little fellow was nrore in-
terested in the narration than either mother o^ visit-
or, and the impression produced upon his mma was
stronger. The child was taught a lesson ot dis-
ohedience, not soon to he forgotten.

There are many little artifices which a chile wi..
practice, which are decidedly to be discountenancea,
but at which a parent can scarce refrain from smil-
ing. These proofs of mental quickness ana inge-
nuity are gratifying to parental feelings. They
give promise of a mind susceptible of a hign ae-
gree of cultivation, if properly guided and restrain-
ed. And there are playfiil and affectionate feats of
childhood which are pleasing on every account.
They show good feelings, as well as an active intel-
lect. Parents will speak to one another of those in-
numerable little occurrences which are daily gratify-
ing them. But if these things are mentioned in the
presence of the child, and applauded, its little hean is
puffed up with vanity. How slight a degree of flattery
will often awaken emotions of the most disgusting
self-conceit, even in individuals of mature minds !
How few persons are there who can bear praise ! Va-
nity is almost an universal sin. None are so low, and
none are so high, as to be freed from its power.
And can a child bear, uninjured, that praise wnicn

FAULTS AND ERROB«. 87

has ruined so many men? Here lies one cause of
the self-conceit so often visible in the nursery.
We flatter our children without being conscious
that they are so greedily drinking in the flattery.
We do not give them credit for the amount of un-
derstanding they actually possess. It is true, almost
all children are regarded by their parents as usual-
ly intelligent. This arises from the fact, that we
are daily observing the unfoldings of the minds of
the little ones who surround our firesides, while we
have no opportunity of noticing the mental devel-
opements of others. But notwithstanding all this
strength of parental partiality, we ordinarily con-
sider, children &r less intelligent than they in reali-
ty are ; and a mother will often talk as unguarded-
ly in the presence of her child, who is three or four
years of age, as she did in the presence of her in-
fant of so many months. The necessity of cau-
tion upon this subject will be obvious to every pa-
rent upon a moment's reflection. Let nothing be
said in the hearing of a child that would tend to ex-
cite its vanity. Guard against the possibility of his
supposing that he does and says remarkable things,
and is superior to other children.

But though a parent may restrain her own tcwague,
it is more difl^cult to restrain the tongues of others.
Many visiters make it a constant habit to flatter the

88 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

children wherever they go. Regardless of the ruin-
ous effects upon their tender and susceptible mindst
they think only of pleasing the parents. Beautiful
children are thus peculiarly exposed. How common
is it for a child of handsome countenance to have
a spoiled temper ! This is so frequently the case,
that many persons have supposed that "spoiled beau-
ty" are words never to be separated. I once knew
a little boy, of unusually bright and animated coun-
tenance. Every one who entered the house, noticed
the child, and spoke of his beauty. One day a gen-
tleman called upon business, and being engaged in
conversation, did not pay that attention to the child
to which he was accustomed, and which he now be-
gan to expect as his due. The vain little fellow made
many efforts to attract notice, but not succeeding, he
at last placed himself full in front of the gentleman,
and asked, "Why don't you see how beautiM I
be?" The feeling, it is true, is not often so openly
expressed, but nothing is more common than for it
to be excited in precisely this way.

It is surely a duty to approve children when they
do right, and to disapprove when they do wrong.
But great caution should be used to preserve a child
from hearing any thing which will destroy that
most lovely trait of character — an humble spirit. It
18, on this account, often a misfortune to a chi]d ta

FAULTS AND ERRORS. 89

be unusually handsome or forward. It is so difficult
to preserve it from the contaminations of flattery,
that what might have been a great benefit, becomes
a serious injury.

2. Do not make exhibitions of your children's at-
tainments. And here we must refer again to the
danger of exciting vanity. There is no passion more
universal, or with greater difficulty subdued. An
eminent clergyman was once leaving his pulpit, when
one of his parishioners addressed him, highly com-
mending the sermon he had just uttered. " Be care-
ful, my friend," said the clergyman, •* I carry a tin-
der-box in my bosom." And if the bosom of an aged
man of piety and of prayer may be thus easily in-
flamed, must there not be great danger in showing
<?^ a child to visiters, who will most certainly flatter
its performance ? Ygm have taught your daughter
some interesting hymns. She is modest and unas-
suming, and repeats them with much propriety. A
friend calls, and you request the child to repeat her
hymns. She does it. Thus far there is, perhaps, no
injury done. But as soon as she has finished, your
friend begins to flatter. Soon another and another
firiend calls, and the scene is continually repeated,
till your daughter feels proud of her performance;
She becomes indeed quite an actress. And the hymn
which was intended to lead her youthful heart to

90 THE MOTHER kT HOME»

God, does but fill that heart with pride. Most ft not
be so ? How can a child withstand such strong temp-
tations ? Parents may show their children that they
are gratified in witnessing their intellectual attain-
ments. And this presents a motive sufliciently strong
to stimulate them to action. But when they are ex-
posed to the indiscriminate and injudicious flattery
of whoever may call, it is not for a moment to be
45upposed that they will retain just views of them-
selves. It must however be allowed, that, with some
children, the danger is much greater than with
others. Some need much encouragement, while
others need continual restraint. Who has not no-
ticed the thousand arts which a vain child will prac-
tise, simply to attract attention ? Who has not seen
«uch a spoiled one take a book and read, occasionally
casting a furtive glance from the page to the visiter, to
see if the studious habit is observed 7 And can such
a child be safely exhibited to strangers ? It may, per-
haps, at times, be an advantage to a modest child to
repeat a hymn, or something of that nature, to a ju-
dicious friend. If your pastor feels that interest in
children which he ought to cherish, he will regard
all the little ones of his congregation with parental
affection. He ought not to be considered as a stran-
ger in the family. Children may appear before hiro
with confidelnce and affection, and if he has the spirit

FAULTS AND ERRORS. 91

of his Master, he will cautiously guard against Cat-
tery, and endeavor to improve the occasion by lead-
ing the mind to serious thoughts. But the practice
of making a show of children, of exhibiting their
little attainments, is certainly reprehensible ; and it is,
we fear, not only common, but increasing. The fol-
lowing remarks upon this subject are from the pen
of an individual who combines much shrewdness oi
observation with extensive experience.

" I always felt pain for poor little things set up
before company to repeat verses, or bits of plays, at
six or eight years old. I have sometimes not known
which way to look, when a mother, (and, too often
a father,) whom I could not but respect on account
of her fondness for her child, has forced the feeble-
voiced eighth wonder of the world to stand with its
little hand stretched out, shouting the soliloquy of
Hamlet, or some such thing. I do not know any
thing much more distressing to the spectators tban
exhibitions of this sort. Upon these occasions no one
knows what to say, or whither to direct his looks.
If I had to declare, on my oath, which have been
the most disagreeable moments of my life, I verily
believe that, after due consideration, I should ^x upon
those in which parents whom I have respected, have
made me endure exhibitions like these ; for this is
your choice, to be insincere, or to give offence. The

92 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

plaudits which the child receives in such cases paff
it ap in its own thoughts, and send it out into the
world stuffed with pride and insolence, which must
and will be extracted from it by one means or ano-
ther. Now parents have iw right thus to indulge
their own feelings at the xisk of the happiness of
their children."

Scenes similar to those above described will at
once occur to the recollection of the reader. And
the fact that such are the feelings of many strangers,
in general, is of itself amply sufficient to discounte-
nance the practice.

There are two extremes which it is necessary to
avoid. The one is that of secluding children alto-
gether from society^ the other is, of wearying our
friends by their presence and their ceaseless talk.
If we consider our children as troubles, to be kept
out of the way whenever we wish for social enjoy-
ment ; if the entrance of a few friends to pass the
evening is the signal for their immediate departure
to another room, how can we expect them to im-
prove, or to become acquainted with the proprieties
of life 1 They must listen to the conversation and ob-
serve the manners of their superiors, that their minds
and their manners may be improved. Not long since
I heard a gentleman speaking of an unusually inte-
resting family he had just visited. It was known

FAULTS AND ERRORS. 93

that he was coming to pass the evening. As he en-
tered the room he saw three little children sitting
quietly and silently by the fire. The mother was
sitting by the table with her sewing. The father was
rising to receive him. The children remained for an
hour or more, listening with interest to the conver-
sation which passed between their parents and the
gentleman. They made not the least interruption,
but by their presence and cheerful looks contributed
much to 'the enjoyment of the evening. At eight
o'clock the mother said, " Children, it is eight."
Without another word, they all rose and left the
room. The mother soon followed, and after being
absent a few moments, returned. Now how much
enjoyment is there in such a family as this ! And
how much improvement do the children derive from
being accustomed to the society of their superiors !
In this way they are taught humility, for they see
how much less they know than others. They gain
information, and their minds are strengthened by
the conversation they hear. Their manners are im-
proved, for children learn more by example than
precept. If you would enjoy these pleasures, and
confer upon your children these benefits, it is indis-
pensable that they be habitually well governed. No-
thing can be more hopeless than to expect that chil-
dren will conduct properly when company is pre-
sent, if at other times they are uncontrolled.

94 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

Some parents, feeling the importance that their
children should enjoy good society, and at the same
time having them under no restraint, deprive them-
selves and their visiters of all enjojrment, and their
children of all henefit. We do not like, even in ima-
gination, to encounter the deafening clamor of such a
scene. Some are lolling about the stranger's chair ;
some crying ; some shouting. The mother is pull-
ing at the gown of one, and scolding at another*
The visiter, distracted with the noise, endeavors in
vain to engage in conversation. The time, and atten-
tion, and patience of the parents are absorbed by
their lawless family. The visiter, after enduring the
uproar for half an hour, is happy in making his es-
cape. Where can there be pleasure, and where can
there be profit in such a scene as this ?

There are many advantages in encouraging an
inquisitive spirit in a child. It has entered upon a
world where every thing is new and astonishing.
Of course it is hourly meeting with objects upon
which it desires information. But as soon as a child
finds that his parents encourage him in asking ques-
tions, he begins to think that it is a very pretty thing.
He will be incessantly presenting his inquiries. His
motive will cease to be a gratification of a reason-
able and commendable curiosity, and he will desire
merely to display his skill, or to talk for the sake of

FAULTS AND BRR0R8. 95

talking. It is very necessary to restrain children in
this respect. Their motives are generally distinctly
to be seen. And if the motive which prompts the
question be improper, let the child receive marks of
disapprobation, and not of approval.

" Mother, what is the coffee-pot for 1" said a child
of three years, at the breakfast table.

** It is to put the coffee in," said the mother.

** And why do you put the coffee in the cc^ee-
pot?"

"Because it is more convenient to pour it out.'*

*' And what," said the child, hesitating and looking
around the table to find some new question ** And
what — are the cups for ?"

" They are to drink from."

* And why do you drink out of the cups ?"

In this manner the child, during the whole time
allotted for the breakfast, incessantly asked his ques-
tions. The mother as continually answered them.
She had adopted the principle, that her child must
always be encouraged in asking questions. And by
blindly and thoughtlessly following out this princi-
ple, she was puffing up his heart with vanity, and
making him a most unendurable talker. The com-
mon sense principle, to guide us upon this subject,
is obvious. If the motive be good, and the occasion
suitable, let the child be encouraged in his inquiries.

96 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

If Otherwise, let him be discouraged. A child is sit-
ting at the breakfast table with his father and mother.
The mother lifts the top of the coffee-pot, and the
child observes the contents violently boiling.

" Mother," says the little boy, " what makes the
coffee bubble up so ?"

Here the motive is good, and the occasion is pro-
per. And one of the parents explains to the child the
chemical process which we call the boiling. The
parents have reason to be gratified at the observation
of the child, and the explanation communicates to
him valuable knowledge. But perhaps a stranger is
present, with whom the father is engaged in inte-
resting conversation. Under these circumstances,
the child asks the same question. It is, however, un-
seasonable. He ought to be silent when company is
present. The mother accordingly replies, " My son,
you should not interrupt your father. You must be
perfectly silent, and listen to what he is saying."

She does not, however, forget the question, but
embraces some opportunity of again alluding to it.
She gives him an answer, and shows him that it is
very impolite to interrupt the conversation of others,
or to engross attention when company is present.
Much pleasure is destroyed, and much improvement
prevented, in permitting the conversation of friends
to be interrupted by the loquacity of children.

FAULTS AND ERRORS. 97

Some parents, to avoid this inconvenience, imme-
diately send their children from the room when vi-
siters arrive. This is treating children with injusdee^
and the parents mnst reap the mortifying conso-
quences in their uncaltivated manners and unculti-
vated minds. Hence, in many gentlemen's famiUed,
you find awkward and clownish children. If chil-
dren are banished from pleasing and intelligent soci-
ety, they must necessarily grow up rude and igno-
rant. The course to be pursued, theifefore, is plain«
They should be often present when friends visit you.
But they should be taught to conduct properly — to
sit in silence and listen. They should not speak un-
less spoken to. And above all, they should not be
thrust forward upon the attention of visiters, to ex-
hibit their attainments, and receive flattety as pro-
fusely as your friends may be pleased to dieal it out

3. Do not deceive children. Many are imaware
of the evil consequences which result from this com-
mon practice. A physician once called to extract a
tooth from a child. The little boy seeing the formi-
dable instruments, and anticipating the pain, was ex-
ceedingly frightened, and refused to open his mouth.
After much fruitless solicitation, the physician said,
•• Perhaps there is no need of drawing it. Let me
rub it a little with my handkerchief, and it may be
all that is necessary ; it will not hurt you in the least,
y 9

98 THB MOTHER AT HOMB.

The boy, trusting his word, opened his mouth. The
physician, concealing his instrument in his handker-
chief, seized hold of the tooth and wrenched it out.
The parents highly applauded his artifice. But the
man cheated the child. He abused his confidence ;
and he inflicted an injury upon his moral feelings
not soon to be efiaced. Will that physician get his
handkerchief into the mouth of the child again? Will
he believe what the physician may hereafter say?
And when told that it is wicked to say that which is
not true, will not the remembrance of the doctor's
fiilsehood be fresh in his mind? And while conscious
that his parents approved of the deception, will he
not feel it to be right for him to deceive, that he may
accomplish his desires? This practice is attended
with the most ruinous consequences. It unavoidably
teaches the child to despise his parents. After he has
detected them in one falsehood, he will not believe
them when they speak the truth. It destroys his
tenderness of conscience ; and it teaches arts of de*
ception. And what are the advantages? Why, in
one particular instance, the point is gained.

Let compulsion be resorted to when necessary,
but deception never. If a child cannot place impli-
cit confidence in his parent, most assuredly no con-
fidence can be reposed in the child. Is it possible
for a mother to practise arts of deception and false-

FAULTS AND ERRORS. 99

hood, and at the same time her daughter be fonning
a character of frankness and of truth? Who can for a
moment suppose it? We must be what we wish our
children to be. They will form their characters from
ours.

A mother was once trpng to persuade her little
son to take some medicine. The medicine was very
unpalatable, and she, to induce him to take it, declar-
ed it did not taste bad. He did not believe her. He
knew, by sad experience, that her word was not to
be trusted. A gentleman and friend who was pre-
sent, took the spoon, and said,

"James, this is medicine, and it tastes very badly.
I should not like to take it, but I would, if necessary.
You have courage enough to swallow something
which does not taste good, have you not ?"

"Yes," said James, looking a little less sulky.
" But that is very bad indeed."

" I know it," said the gentleman, " I presume you
never tasted any thing much worse." The gentle-
man then tasted the medicine himself and said, " It
is really very unpleasant. But now let us see if you
have not resolution enough to take it, bad as it is."

The boy hesitatingly took the spoon.

" It is, really, rather bad," said the gentleman ; "but
the best way is to summon all your resolution, and
down with it at once, like a man."

100 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

James made, in reality, a great effort for a child,
and swallowed the dose. And who will this child
most respect, his deceitful mother, or the honest deal-
ing stranger? And who will he hereafter most readily
believe? It ought, however, to be remarked, that had
the child been properly governed, he would at once,
and without a murmur, have taken what his mother
presented. It is certainly, however, a supposable
case, that the child might, after all the arguments of
the gentleman, still have refused to do his duty. What
course should then be pursued? Resort to compul-
sion, but never to deceit. We cannot deceive our
children without seriously injuring them, and de-
stroying our own influence. Prank and open dealing
is the only safe policy in family government, as well
as on the wider theatre of life. The under-hand arts
and cunning manoeuvres of the intriguer are sure,
in the end, to promote his own overthrow. Be sin-
cere and honest, and you are safe. The only ?ure
way of securing beneficial results, is by virtuous
and honorable means.

4. Do not be continually finding fault. It is at times
necessary to censure and to punish. But very much
may be done by encouraging children when they
do well. Be even more careful to express your ap-
probation of good conduct, than your disapprobation
of bad. Nothing can more discourage a child than

FAULTS AND, ERRORS. 101

a spirit of incessant &ult -finding, on the part of its
parent. And hardly any thing can exert a more in-
jurious influence upon the disposition hoth of the pa-
rent and the child. There are two great motives in-
fluencing human actions ; hope and fear. Both of
these are at times necessary. But who would not pre-
fer to have her child influenced to good conduct by
the desire of pleasing, rather than by the fear of of-
fending. If a mother never express her gratification
when her children do well, and is always censuring
when she sees any thing amiss, they are discou-
raged and unhappy. They feel that there is no use
in trying to please. Their dispositions become hard-
ened and soured by this ceaseless fretting. At last,
finding that, whether they do well or ill, they are
equally found fault with, they relinquish all efibrts
to please, and become heedless of reproaches.

But let a mother approve of her child's conduct
whenever she can. Let her show that his good be-
havior makes her sincerely happy. Let her reward
him for his efibrts to please, by smiles and afifection.
In this way she will cherish in her child's heart
some of the noblest and most desirable feelings of
our nature. She will cultivate in him an amiable
disposition and a cheerful spirit. Your child has
been, during the nlay, very pleasant and obedient.
Just before putting him to sleep for the night, you
T 9*

102 TBS MOTHER AT HOVE.

take his hand and say, ** My son, you have been a
very good boy to day. It makes me very happy to
see you so kind and obedient. God loves little chil-
dren who are dutiful to their parents, and he pro-
mises to make them happy." This approbation from
his mother is, to him, a great reward. And when,
with a more than ordinarily affectionate tone, you
say, "good night, my dear son," he leaves the room
with his little heart full of feeling. And when be
closes his eyes for sleep, he is happy, and resolves
that he will always try to do his duty.

Basil Hall thus decribes the effects produced on
board ship, by the different modes of government
adopted by different commanders.

"Whenever one of these commanding officers,
came on board the ship, after an absence of a day or
two, and likewise when he made his periodical round
of the decks after breakfast, his constant habit was
to cast his eye about him, in order to discover what
was wrong; to detect the smallest thing that wa^
out of its place ; in a word, to find as many grounds
for censure as possible. This constituted, in his opi-
nion, the best preventive to neglect, on the part of
those under his command; and he acted in this crus-
ty way on principle. The attention of the other offi-
cer, on the contrary, appeared to be directed chiefly
^0 those points which he could approve of. For in-

iPAtJLTS AND fiXmoftt. 103

iMance, he would stop as he went along, from time
to time, and say to the first lieutenant, * Now, these
ropes are very nicely arranged ; this mode of stow-
ing the men's bags and mess kids is just as I wish
to see it ;' while the officer first described would not
only pass by these well-arranged things, which
had cost hours of labor to put in order, quite unno-
ticed) but would not be easy till his eye had caught
hold of some casual omission which afibrded an
opening for disapprobation.

"One of these captains would remark to the first
lieutenant, as he walked ^along, *How white and
clean you have got the decks to day I I think you
must have been at them all the morning, to have
got them into such order.' The other, in similar
circumstances, but eager to find feult, would say,
even if the decks were as white and clean as drift-
ed snow, * I wish you would teach these sweepers
to clear away that bundle of shakings !' pointing to a
bit of rope-yarn, not half an inch long, left under the
trunk of a gun. It seemed, in short, as if nothing
was more vexatious to one of these officers, than to
discover things so correct as to afford him no good
opportunity for finding fiiult; while, to the other, the
necessity of censuring really appeared a punishment
to himself

*• Under the one, accordingly, we all worked with

104 THE HOTHBR AT HOME.

cheerfulness, from a conviction that nothing we did
in a proper way would miss approbation.

" But our duty under the other, being performed
in fear, seldom went on with much spirit. We had
DO personal satisfaction in doing things correctly,
from the certainty of getting no commendation.

•* The great chance, also, of being censured, even
in those cepes where we had labored most indus*
triously to merit approbation, broke the spring of all
generous exertion, and by teaching us to anticipate
blame as a matter of course, defeated the very pur
pose of punishment when it fell upon us. The cose
being quite hopeless, the chastisement seldom con-
duced either to the amendment of an oiSender, or to
the prevention of offences. But what seemed the
oddest thing of all was, that these men were both as
kind-hearted as could be ; or, if there were any dif
ference, the fault-finder was the better natured, and,
in matters not professional, the more indulgent of
the two.

•* The line of conduct I have described was pure-
ly a matter of official system, not at all of feeling.
Yet, as it then appeared, and still appears to me,
nothing could be more completely erroneous than
the snarling method of the one, or more decidedly
calculated to do good than the approving style of
the other. It has, in fiu^t, always appeared to me

FAULTS AND SERORS. 105

fA absurdity, to make any real distinction between
public and private matters in these respects.

" Nor is there the smallest reason why the same
principle of civility, pr consideration, or by whatever
name that quality be called, by which the feelings of
others are consulted, should not modify professional
intercourse quite as much as it does that of the freest
society, without any risk that the requisite strictness
of discipline would' be hurt by an attention to good
maoners,

" The desire of discovering that things are right,
and a sincere wish to express our approbation, are
habits which, in almost every situation in life, have
the best possible effects in practice.

** They are vastly more agreeable certainly to the
superior himself, whether he be the colonel of a re-
giment, the captain of a ship, or the head of a house;
for the mere act of approving seldom fails to put a
man's thoughts into that pleasant train which predis-
poses him to be habitually pleased, and this frame of
mind alone, essentially helps the propagation of a
similar cheerfulness amongst all those who are about
him. It requires, indeed, but a very little experience
of soldiers or sailors, children, servants, or any other
kind of dependents, or even of companions and supe-
riors, to show that this good humor, on the part of
those whom we wish to influence, is the best possi-

106 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

ble coadjutor to our schemes of management, what-
ever these may be.*^

The judicious exercise of approbation is of the
first importance in promoting obedience, and in cul-
tivating in the bosom of your child affectionate and
cheerful feelings. Let your smiles animate your
boy's heart, and cheer him on in duty. When he re-
turns from school, with his clothes clean and his
countenance happy, reward him with the manifesta?-
tion of a mother's love. This will be the strongest
incentive to neatness and care. An English gentle-
man used to encourage his little children to early
rising, by calling the one who first made her ap-
pearance in the parlor in the morning. Lark. The
early riser was addressed by that name during the
day. This slight expression of parental approval
WBS found sufficient to call up all the children to
the early enjoyment of the morning air. A child of-
ten makes a very great effort to do something to
merit a smile from its mother. And most bitter tears
are frequently shed because parents do not suffi-
ciently sympathise in these feelings.

The enjoyment of many a social circle, and the
disposition of many an affectionate child, are spoiled
by unceasing complainings. Some persons get into
such a habit of finding fault, that it becomes as natu-
ral to them as to breathe. Nothing pleases them. In

ril^LTS AND BRROR0. 107

©very action, and in every event, they are searching
for something to disapprove. like venomous rep-
tiles, they have the faculty of extracting poison from
the choicest blessings. Children are, very much,
creatures of sympathy. They form their characters
from those around them. And we must cherish in
oar own bosoms those virtues we would foster in
theirs. If we would give them calm and gentle and
friendly feelings, we must first show them, by our
own example, how valuable those feelings are.

5. Never punish by exciting imaginary fears.
There is something very remarkable in the univer-
sal prevalence of superstition. Hardly an individual
is to be found, enlightened or unenlightened, who is
not, in a greater or less degree, under the influence
of these irrational fears. There is, in the very na-
ture of man, a strong susceptibility of impression
upon this subject. A ghost story will be listened to
with an intensity of interest which hardly any thing
else can awaken. Persons having the care of chil-
dren, not unfrequently take advantage of this, and
endeavor to amuse by relating these stories, or to
govern by exciting their fears. It surely is not ne-
cessary to argue the impropriety of such a course.
Every one knows how ruinous must be the result.
Few parents, however, practice the caution which is
necessary to prevent others from filling the minds

108 THS MOTHER AT HOHX.

of their children with superstition. How oft^ do
we find persons who retain throtigh life the in*
fluence which has thus been exerted upon them in
childhood. It becomes to them a real calamity.
Much watchfulness is required to preserve the
mind from such injuries.

There is a mode of punishment, not unfrequent,
which is very reprehensible. A child is shut up in
the cellar, or in a dark closet. It is thus led to asso-
ciate ideas of terror with darkness. This ef^t has
sometimes been so powerful, that hardly any motive
would induce a child to go alone into a dark room.,
And sometimes even they fear, after they have re-
tired for sleep, to be left alone without a light. Btit
there is no difficulty in training up children to be
as fearless by night as by day. And you can find
many who do not even dream of danger in going
any where about the house in the darkest night. If
you would cultivate this state of mind in your chil-
dren, it IS necessary that you should preserve them
from ideas of supernatural appearances, and should
never appeal to imaginary fears. Ttain up your
children to be virtuous atid fearless. Moral conrag*
is one of the surest safeguards of virtue.

An English writer gives a most appalling a^
count of two instances in which fatal consequence^
attended the strong excitement of fear. Sayv he, *'I

FAULTS AND ERRORS. 109

knew in Philadelphia, as fine, and as sprightly, and
as intelligent a child as ever was born, made an
idiot for life, by being, when about three years old,
shut into a dark closet by a maid-servant, in order
to terrify it into silence. The thoughtless creature
first menaced it with sending it to * the bad place;*
and at last, to reduce it to silence, put it into the
closet, shut the door, and went out of the room.
She went back in a few minutes, and found the
child in dijit. It recovered from that, but was for
life an idiot. When the parents, who had been out
two days and two nights on a visit of pleasure, came
home, they were told that the child had had a fit,
tmt they were not told the cause. The girl, how-
ever, who was a neighbor's daughter, being on her
death-bed about ten years afterwards, could not die
in peace without sending for the mother of the
child and asking forgiveness of her. Thousands
upon thousands of human beings have been de-
prived of their senses by these and similar means.

*' It is not long since that we read, in the newspa-
pers, of a child being absolutely killed (at Birming-
ham, I think) by being thus frightened. The parents
had gone out into what is called an evening party.
The servants, naturally enough, had their party at
faome^ and the mistress, who, by some unexpected
accident, had been brought home at an early hour,
T 10

110 THB MOTHER AT HOME.

finding the parlor full of company, ran up siairs to
see about her child, about two or three years old.
She found it with its eyes open, hut fixed! touching
it, she found it inanimate. The doctor was sent for
in vain : it was dead. The maid afiected to kpow
nothing of the cause ; but some one of the parties asp-
sembled discovered, pinned up to the curtains of the
bed, a horrid figure, made up partly of a frightful
mask! This, as the wretched girl confessed, had
been done to keep the child quiet while she was
with her company below. When one reflects on the
anguish that the poor little thing must have endured
before the life was quite frightened out of it, one can
find no terms sufficiently strong to express the ab-
horrence due to the perpetrator of this crime, which
was, in fact, a cruel murder; and, if it was beyond
the reach of the law, it was so, and is so, because,
as in the cases of parricide, the law, in making no
provision for punishment peculiarly severe, has, out
of respect to human nature, supposed such crimes to
be impossible."

I have in this chapter alluded to some of the most
common and prominent faults in education. They
cannot all, however, be particularly mentioned. The
faithful mother must have continually a watchful
eye ; she must observe the efiect of her own practices.
She must carefully search out every little defect and

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. Ill

trifling error. We must think and observe for our-
selves. It is in vain to hope to make attainment in
any thing valuable without effort The views of
others may be of essential aid in laying down gene-
ral principles, in exciting our own thoughts, and in
stimulating us to resolution and fidelity. But, after
all, unless we are willing to think ourselves ; to study
the dispositions of our children; to watch the influ-
ence of the various motives we present to their minds,
many faults will pass undetected, and we shall lose
many advantages we might otherwise have obtained.

CHAPTER VI.

J^ZLIOIOUS INSTRUCTIOir.

1. Very great success has attended the efforts
which have been made to collect children in Sab-
bath schools for religious instruction. Maternal as-
sociations have been of inestimable value. But no-
thing can supersede the necessity of effort and in-
struction at the fire-side. The mother must collect
her little flock around her and take upon herself the
responsibility of their religious education. She may
find enjoyment and improvement in associating with
others for prayer ; and if she be faithful, she will see

112 THE MOTHER AT HOHE.

that her children are punctual attendants of the Sab-
bath school. But she will not regard these as exon-
erating herself in the least degree from responsibil-
ity. The influence of Sabbath schools has undoubt-
edly been to awaken more general interest at home
in behalf of the spiritual welfere of children. Still
there is danger that some parents may feel that the
responsibility is transferred from themselves to the
Sabbath school teachers ; and that they accomplish
their duty in seeing them punctually at school with
their lessons well committed. It is, however, of the
first importance that home should be the sanctuary
of religious instruction. The mother must be the
earnest and affectionate guide to the Savior. She
must take her little ones by the hand and lead them
in the paths of piety.

No one else can possibly have the influence which
a mother may possess, or the facilities which she en-
joys. She knowR the various dispositions of her
children ; their habits of thought ; their moods ol
mind. Thus can she adapt instruction to their wants.
She alone can improve the numberless occurrences
which open the mind for instruction, and give it sus-
ceptibility to religious impression. She is with them
when they are in sickness or pain. She can take
advantage of the calm of the morning, and of the so-
lemn stillness of the evening. In moments of sad«

ItBLIOIOtS INSTRUCTION. 113

nes8 she can point their minds to hrighter worlds,
and to more satisfying joys. God has conferred upon
the mother adyantages which no one else can pos-
sess. With these advantages he has connected re-
sponsibilities which cannot be laid aside, or trans-
ferred to another. At home, and by the parents, the
great duty of religious education must be &ithfuily
perfoimed. The quiet fire-side is the most sacred
sanctuary ^ maternal aflection is the most eloquent
pleader, and an obedient child is the most promising
subject of religious impressions. Let mothers feel
this as they ought, and they will seldom see their
children leave the paternal roof unfortified with
Christian principles and sincere piety.

2. Parents must have deep devotional feelings
themselves. It is certainly vain to hope that you can
induce your children to fix their afiections upon ano-
ther world, while yours are fixed upon this. Your
example will counteract all the influence of your in-
structions. Unless Christian feelings animate your
heart, it is folly to expect that you can instill those
principles into the hearts of your children. They
will imitate your example. They confide in your
l^idance. That little child which Qod has given
you, and which is so happy in your, a flection, feels
«ife in cherishing those feelings which it sees you
Hie cherishing. And, mother ! can you look upon

Y 10»

114 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

your confiding child and witness all her fond en-
dearments and warm embraces, and not feel re-
morse in the consciousness that your example is
leading her away from Grod, and consigning her to
ceaseless sorrow ?

You love your child. Your child loves you, and
cannot dream that you are abusing its confidence,
and leading it in the paths of sin and destruction.
How would it be shocked in being told that its mo-
ther is the cruel betrayer of its eternal happiness !
You are wedded to the world. You have not given
your heart to God. Not content with being the de-
stroyer of your own soul, you must carry with you
to the world of wo, the child who is loving you as
its mother and its friend. O there is an aggravation
of cruelty in this which cannot be described. One
would think that every smile would disturb your
peace; that every proof of affection would pierce
your heart ; that remorse would keep you awake at
midnight, and embitter every hour. The murderer
of the body can scarce withstand the stings of con-
science. But, O unchristian mother ! you are the
destroyer of the soul. And of whose soul ? The aoul
of your own confiding child. We cannot speak iess
plainly on this topic. We plead the unparalleled
wrongs of children, betrayed by a mother's smile
and a mother's kiss. Satan led Adam from Paiadiae.

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 115

Judas betrayed his Master. But here we see a mo-
ther leading her child, her own immortal t^hild, fer
from God and peace, to the rebellion of worldliness
and the storms of retribution. That little child fol-
lowing m your footsteps, is the heir of eternity. It is
to survive the lapse of all coming years ; to emerge
from the corruptions of the grave ; to expand in spi-
ritual existence, soaring in the angel's lofty flight, or
groping in the demon's gloom. Thou, O mother ! art
its guide to immortality ; to heaven's green pastures,
or to despair's dreary wastes. If you go on in unre-
pented sin, your child, in all probability, will go
with you.

We have heard of a child, upon her dying bed,
raising her eyes to her parents and exclaiming, in
bitterness of spirit, ** O my parents! you never
told me of death, or urged me to prepare for it ; and
now,' said she, bursting into an agony of tears, ** I
am dying, and my soul is lost.'^ She died. Her sun
went down in darkness. What were the feelings of
those parents ! What agony must have rent their
bosoms! How must the spectre of their ruined
daughter pursue them in all the employments of the
day, and disturb their slumbers by night. But you
must meet your children again. The trump of
judgment will summon yx)u to the bar of Christ.
How fruitless would be the attempt %• de8crib«
your feelings ther^J

116 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

" That awfiil day will surely come ;
" The appointed hour makes haste."

Death is succeeded by judgment, and judgment by
eternity. If you are the destroyer of your child,
through eternity you must bear its reproaches. You
must gaze upon the wreck of its immortal spirit,
while conscience says that, if you had been faithful,
yourself and your child might have been reposing
in heaven. Think not that you can go in one path,
and induce your child to walk in another. You
must not only " point to heaven," but " lead the
way." The first thing to be done, is for a mother
to give her own heart to God. Become a Christian
yourself, and then you may hope for God's blessing
upon your efforts to lead your child to the Savior.
We do entreat every mother who reads these pages,
as she values her own happiness and the happi-
ness of her children, immediately to surrender her
heart to God. Atoning blood has removed every
difficulty from the way* The Holy Spirit is ready,
in answer to your prayers, to grant you all needful
assistance. Every hour that you neglect this duty,
you are leading your children farther from God,
and rendering the prospect of their return more
hopeless.

3. Present religion in a cheerful aspect. There
is no real enjoyment without piety. The tendency

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 117

of religion is to make us happy here and hereafter ;
to divest the mind of gloom, and fill it with joy.
Many parents err in this respect. They dwell too
much upon the terrors of the law. They speak with
countenances saddened and gloomy. Religion be-
comes to the child an unwelcome topic, and is re-
garded as destructive of happiness. The idea of
God is associated with gloom and terror. Many pa-
rents have, in their latter years, become convinced
of the injudicious course they have pursued in this
respect. They have so connected religious conside-
rations with melancholy countenances and mourn-
ful tones of voice, as to cause the subject to be un-
necessarily repugnant.

We may, indeed, err upon the other extreme.
The nature of sin, and the justice of God, and the
awful penally of his law, should be distinctly exhi-
bited. The child should be taught to regard God as
that being who, while he loves his creatures, cannot
look upon sin but with abhorrence. If we speak to
children simply of the Creator's goodness, as mani-
fested in the favors we are daily receiving, an er-
roneous impression of God's character will be con-
veyed. It is to be feared that many deceive them-
selves in thinking they love God. They have in
their minds a poetic idea of an amiable and senti-
mental being, whose character is composed of fond-

118 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

ness and indulgence. Such persons are as far from
worshipping the true God, as is the Indian deyotee
or the sensual Moslem. God must be represented as
he has exhibited himself to us in the Bible and in
the works of nature. He is a Grod of mercy and of
justice. He is a God of love, and a consuming fire.
He is to be regarded with our warmest aflTections,
and also with reverence and godly fear. Let, there-
fore, children distinctly understand that sin cannot
pass unpunished. But it should also be understood
that judgment is God's strange work. Ordinarily
speak of his goodness. Show his readiness to for-
give. Excite the gratitude of the child by speaking
of the joys of heaven. Thus let the duties of reli-
gion ever be connected with feelings of enjoyment
and images of happiness, that the child may perceive
that gloom and sorrow are connected only with dis-
obedience and irreligion. There is enough in the
promised joys of heaven to rouse a child's most ani-
mated feelings. This subject has more to cheer the
youthful heart than any other which can be present-
ed. Appeal to gratitude. Excite hope. Speak of the
promised reward. Thus may you most reasonably
hope to lead your child to love its Maker, and to
live for heaven. Reserve the terrors of the law for
solemn occasions, when you may produce a deep
and abiding impression. If you are continually in*

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 119

troducing these motives, the mind becomes harden-
ed against their influence ; religion becomes a dis-
agreeable topic, and the inveteracy of sin is con-
firmed.

4. Improve appropriate occasions. We all know
that there are times when there is peculiar tender-
ness of conscience and susceptibility of impression.
These changes come over the mind, sometimes from
unaccountable causes. One day the Christian will
feel a warmth of devotional feeling and elevation
of spiritual enjoyment, which the next day he in
vain endeavors to attain. The man whose affections
are fixed upon the world, at one time will be almost
satisfied with the pleasure he is gathering. The
world looks bright; hope is animated; and he
rushes on with new vigor in his delusive pursuits.
The next day all his objects of desire appear as per-
fect shadows. He feels the heartlessness of his plea-
sures ; his spirit is sad within him ; and he is al-
most resolved to be a Christian. With these chang-
es nearly all are familiar. Sometimes they may be
accounted for from known external causes. At oth«r
times the causes elude our search.

A mother should ever be watchful to improve such
occasions. When she sees her child with an unusu-
ally tender spirit, with a pensive countenance and
subdued feelings — ^let her then look to Qod in fervent

120 THB MOTHER AT HOME.

prayer, and mik all the persuasions of a mother's
love endeavor to guide her child to the Savior.
When the mind is in such a state as this, it is pre-
pared for religious instruction. It then can he made
to feel how heartless are all joys but those of piety.
Its hold upon the world is loosened, and it may more
easily be led to wander in those illimitable regions
where it may hereafter find its home. O how sweet
a pleasure it is to present the joys of religion to a
child whose feelings are thus chastened ; to behold
the tear of feeling moistening its eye ; to see its little
bosom heaving with the new emotions which are
rising there ! If there be a joy on earth, it is to be
found in such a scene as this. The happy mother
thus guiding her young immortal to its heavenly
home, experiences a rapture of feelitig which the
world knoweth not of. Such occasions are not un-
frequently arising, and the mother should endeavor
always to have her heart warm with love to Christ,
that in such an hour she may communicate its warmth
to die bosom of her child.

There are certain seasons also which are pecu-
liarly appropriate for guiding the thoughts to hea-
ven. Our feelings vary with scenes around us. Upon
some dark and tempestuous night you lead your lit-
tle son to his chamber. The rain beats violently
upon the windows. The wind whistles around the

RELIGI0U9 IN8TRTTCTI0N. 121

comers of the dwelling. All witbottt si darkness andf
gloom. The mind of the child is necessarily aflfect*
ed by this rage of the elements. You embrace the
opportunity to inculcate a lesson of trust in God.
"My son," you say, "it is God who causes this
wind to blow, and the rain to fell. Neither your &•
ther nor I can cause the storm to cease, or increase
its violence. If God wished, he could make the wind
blow with such fury as to beat in all the windows
and destroy the house. But God will take care of
you, my son, if you sincerely ask him. No one else
can take care of you. I hope that you will pray that
God will protect you, and your fether, and me, to-
night. When God conunands, the storm will ceasef.
The clouds will disappear ; all will be calm. And
the bright moon and twinkling stars will shine out
again."

In some such manner as this the child may be
taught his entire dependence upon God. He cannot
fail of obtaining A deep impression of the power ci
his Maker. Tou may say that God is omnipotent,
and it will produce but a feeble impression. But
point to some actual exhibition of Grod's power, and
the attention is arrested, and the truth is felt. When
the mother leaves the room, and her son remains
alone and in darkness, listening to the roar of the
stomi, will not his mind be expanded with new ideas

Y 11

122 THB MOTHER AT HOME.

of the greatness and the power of his Maker ? Will
be not feel that it is a fearful thing to ofiead such a
being ? And if he has been rightly instructed to place
his trust in Qod, the agitation of the elemetnts will
not trouble the serenity of his heart. He will feel
that with God for his protector, he need fear no evil.
Some such simple occurrence as this may often be
improved to produce an impression which never can
be forgotten. Such thoughts as these, introduced to
the mind of a child, will enlarge its capacities, give
it maturity, lead it to reflection, and, by the blessing
of God, promote its eternal wellbeing. One such
transient incident has a greater eflect than hours of
ordinary religious conversation.

One of the most important duties of the mother is
to watch for these occasions and diligently to im-
prove them. Any parent who is faithful will find in-
numerable opportunities, which will enable her to
come into almost immediate contact with the heart
of her child. The hour of sickness comes. Your
little daughter is feverish and restless upon her pil-
low. You bathe her burning brow and moisten her
parched tongue, and she hears your prayer that she
may be restored to heahh. At length the fever sub-
sides. She awakes from refreshing sleep, relieved
from pain. You tell her then, that if God had not
iitfQrposed, her sickness would have increased till

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 123

she had died. By pointing her attention to this one
act of kindness in God, which she can see and feel,
you may excite emotions of sincere gratitude. You
may thus lead her to real grief that she should ever
disobey her heavenly Father.

A child in the neighborhood dies. Your daughter
accompanies you to the funeral. She looks upon the
lifeless corpse of her little companion. And shall a
mother neglect such an opportunity to teach her
child the meaning of death ? When your daughter
retires to sleep at night, she will most certainly think
of her friend who has died. As you speak to her of
the eternal world to which her friend has gone— of
the judgment-seat of Christ — of the new scenes of
joy or wo upon which she has entered, will not her
youthful heart feel 7 And will not tears of sympathy
fill her eyes? And as you tell your daughter that
she too soon must die ; leave all her friends ; appear
before Christ to be judged ; and enter upon eternal
existence ; will not the occurrence of the day give a
reality and an efiect to your remarks which will
long be remembered ? There are few children who
can resist such appeals. The Savior, who took little
children in his arms and blessed them, will not des-
pise this day of small things, but will cherish the
feelings thus excited, and strengthen the feeble re-
solve. We have every encouragement to believe that

Id4 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

Grod, who 18 more ready to give his Holy Spirit to
them that ask him, than a mother to feed her hun-
gry child, will accompany these dSbrts with his
hlessing.

A &ther once led his little daughter into the grave-
yard, to show her the grave of a playmate, who, a
few days before, had been consigned to her cold and
narrow bed. The little girl looked for some moments
in silence and sadness upon the fresh mound, and
then looking up, said " Papa, I now know what is
meant by the hymn,

' I, in the burjring place, may see,
* Graves shorter there than 1/

^'My grave would be longer than this." This
dear little child now lies by the side of that grave.
But her parents can smile through their tears, as
they believe that her spirit is in heav^i. It is by in-
troducing children to such scenes, and seizing upcm
such occasions, that we may most successfuUy incul-
cate lessons of piety. One such incident enters more
deeply into the heart than volumes of ordmary coa-
versatlon.

You are perhaps riding with ^y^gur son. It is a
lovely summer's morning. The fields lie spread be-
Hore you in beauty. The song of the bird is heard.
All nature seems uttering a voice of gladness. As
jou ascend some emin^ce which gives you a com-

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 125

mimding view of all the varied beauties of the scene ;
jof hill and valley, rivulet and forest, of verdant pas-
tures and lowing herds, can you fail to point the
attention of your son to these beauties, and from them
to lead his mind to Him whose word called them all
into being ? And may you not thus most effectually
carry his thoughts away to heaven ? May you not
lead his mind to the green pastures and the still wa-
ters, where there is sweet repose for ever 1 May you
not introduce him to that kind Shepherd, who there
protects his flock, gathering his lambs in his arms*
and folding them in his bosom? May not a mother's
or a father's tongue here plead with an eloquence
unknown in the pulpit ?

By carefully improving such occasions as these,
you may produce an impression upon the mind,
which all future years cannot remove. You may
so intimately connect devotional feelings with the
ever-varying events and changing scenes of life, that
every day's occurrences will lead his thoughts to
Grod. The raging storm ; the hour of sickness; the
funeral procession ; the tolling bell, will, in all af-
ter life, carry back his thoughts to a mother's in-
structions and prayers. Should your son hereafter
be a wanderer from home, as he stands upon the
Alps, or rides upon the ocean, his mind will invo-
luntarily be carried to Him who rules the waters
Y 11*

126 TH£ MOTHER AT HOME.

and who built the hills. With these occunons, which
produce so vivid an effect upon the mind, endeayor
to connect views of God and heaven.

I can never forget the impression produced upon
my own mind by a very simple .remark, which, un-^
der ordinary circumstances, would not Imve been
remembered an hour. The good* illustration it af-
fords of the principle we are now considering, has
overcome the reluctance I feel in appealing to person*
al experience. One day, in the very early stages of
my childhood, my fisither gave me a little ball cov-
ered with leather, such as boys usually play with.
Saturday morning, while playing with it at school,
it was accidentally thrown over the fence and lost.
We searched for it a long time in ^vain. The loss
to me was about as severe as it would be for a man
to part with half his fortune. I went home and un-
bosomed my grief to my mother. She endeavored to
console me, but with what effect I cannot now re-
member. The next day was the Sabbath. I passed
the day with more than ordinary propriety. My
customary Sabbath hymn was perfectly committed.
Seated in my little chair by the fire, I passed a quiet
and happy day in reading, and the various duties
appropriate to holy time. My conduct was such as
to draw expressions of approbation from my parents,
as with a peaceful heart I bade them good night, to

RSLI«I0U8 INSTRUCTION. 127

retire to rest. The next day, as usual, I went to school
The lost ball occupied my mind as I walked along.
Upon climbing orer the fence into the field where
I had so long and so fruitlessly searched on the pre-
ceding Saturday, almost the first object upon which
my eye fell was the ball partially concealed by a stone.
Child as I was, my joy was very great. At noon I
ran hastily home to inform my mother, knowing thai
she would rejoice with me over my recovered trea-
sure. Ailer sympathizing with me in my childish
happiness, she remarked that Sir Mathew Hale had
said that he never passed the Sabbath well without
being prospered the succeeding week. " You re-
member, my son," she continued, ** that you were a
good boy yesterday. This shows you, that if you
would be happy and prosperous, you must remember
the Sabbath day, and keep it holy." Whether this re-
mark be unexceptionably true, it is not in place now
to inquire. That it generally is true, but few will
doubt. But the remark in the connection in which it
was made, produced an impression upon my mind
which will never be effaced. All the other events of
that early period have long since perished from my
memory ; but this remains fresh and prominent. Of-
ten has it led me to the scrupulous observance of the
Sabbath — even to the present day I can distinctly
perceive its influence. The connection in my mind

128 THX MOTHER AT HOMX.

between God's blessing and the observance of the
Sabbath is so intimate, that scarcely does a Sabbath
morning arrive in which it is not involuntarily sug-
gested. Probably every reader can recall to mind
some similar occurrence which has fixed an indeli-
ble impression. If a mother will be ever vigilant to
4 improve such opportunities, she will avoid the danger
of making religion a wearisome and unpleasant topic.
There is hardly any person so reckless of eterni-
ty, so opposed to piety, who will not at times listen
to religious conversation. A christian gentleman
was once a passenger on board a vessel where his
ears were frequently pained by the profane language
of a rude and boisterous cabin-boy. He resolved to
watch for some opportunity to converse with him.
One evening the gentleman was lying, wrapped in
his cloak, upon the quarter deck, with a coil of ropes
for his pillow, feasting upon the beauties of ocean
scenery. A gentle breeze was swelling the sails and
bearing them rapidly over the undulating waters.
The waves were glittering with their phosphorescent
fires, and reflected from innumerable points the rays
of the moon. Not a cloud obscured the thousands of
lights which were hung out in " nature's grand ro-
tunda." The cabin-boy happened to be employed in
adjusting some ropes near the place where the gen-
tleman was reclining in the rich enjoyment of his

RELIOIQ.US INSTRUCTION. 129

Tvandering thoughts. A few words of conyersation
&at passed between tb«m, upon some ordinary topic.
The attention of the boy was then, by an easy transi-
tion, directed to the stars. He manifested increasing
interest, as some simple but striking remarks wen^
made upon the &cts which astronomy has taught ut.
From this the mind of the boy was led to heaven.
He stood gazing upon the stars, as the gentleman
spake of the world of glory and the mansions which
Christ has gone to prepare. He listened with sub-
dued feelings and breathless attention, as he had un-
folded to him the awful scene of judgment. By this
time his mind was prepared for direct allusion to his
own sins. He was attentive and respectful, while he
was kindly but most earnestly eotreated to prepare
to meet Christ in judgment The effect produced
upon the mind <^ this wicked lad was erid^atly most
powerful. Whether it were lasting or not, the gentle-
man had no opportunity to ascertain. But by taking
advantage of the stillness of the evening, and the im-
pressiveness of the scene, the turbulent spirit of that
boy was, for the time at least, quelled. Religious in-
struction was communicated to his willing mind.
And probably he will oflen, while a wanderer upon
the ocean, gaze upon the stars in his midnight
watches, and think of judgment and of heaven.
How often can a mother seize upon some similar

130 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

occasion, and instruct, while at the same time she
mo$t deeply interests and most effectually impresses
the mind of hsr child !

5. Avoid inappropriate occasions. There are times
when serious injury is done by urging the claims of
religion. Your child is angry. His flushed cheek
and riolent motions show the sinful irritation of his
mind. Shall the mother now converse with him upon
the wickedness of these feelings and God's displea-
sure ? No ! It is unseasonable. It would be as un-
availing as to converse with a madman, or one in-
toxicated. Punish him for his irritation in some way
which will soothe his feelings and lead him to re-
flection. But wait till these passions have subsided
before you attempt to reason with him upon th«ir
impropriety, and to lead him to evangelical repeirt-
ance. Elneel by his bed-side in the silence of his
chamber, and in the pensive hour of evening. When
his mind is calm, and passion is not triumphing over
reason, he will hear you, and may be melted to con-
trition. When Peter denied his Master, he did it with
cursing and swearing. But when his fears had sub-
sided, and the hour of reflection came, with a sad
heart he entered the hall of Pilate. Then did a sin-
gle glance from the Savior pierce his heart, ** and
he went out and wept bitterly."

A child is highly excited with pleasurable emo-

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 131

tions. His attention is so highly engrossed by the
immediate object of his^ enjoyment, that it is almost
impossible to draw his thoughts to any other subject
If, under these circumstances, an effort is made to con-
vince him of the uncertainty of human enjoyments,
of his own sinfulness, of the need of a Savior, the
efibrt will not only, in all probability, be unavailing,
but the subject will be so unwelcome as to excite dis-
gust. There are times when the mind is {urepared
with gratitude to receive religious instryction. Let
such be improved. There are others when the mind
is so manifestly engrossed k one a]l-absorbing sub-
ject that it is in vain to present any other. If you
would not connect religion with unpleasant associa-
tions, and excite repugnance, do not on such occa-
sions obtrude this subject.

If a gunner should enter a forest and walk along
loading and firing at random, he might accidentally
jget some game, but most assuredly he would frighten
away far more than he would secure. If a parent,
with blind and unthinking zeal, is incessantly throw-
ing out random remarks, she may by chance pro-
duce the desired effect. She will however more fre-
quently excite opposition, and confirm rebellion, than
lead to penitence and prayer.

Guard against long and tedioQS conversations.
The mind of a child cannot be fixed for any great

1$3 THK XOTHBR AT HOME.

lengtk df Itme upon one subject without exhaustion.
Every word that is uttered, after there are manif^ta-
tions of weariness, will do more harm than good. If
a mother will exercise her own judgment, and gather
wisdom from her o\^ observation, she will soon ac-
quire that facility in adapting her instructions which
will have the best tendency to improve her child.
No rules can supersede the necessit}*^ of personal
watchfulness and reflection.

CHAPTER VII.

RBLIiaOUS INSTRUCTION^— CONTINUBD.

Thb views which are generally entertained of hea-
ven are far more indefinite than they need be. This
home of the blest is described in the Bible with the
most magnificent imagery nature aflbrds. Heaven is
spoken of as having a distinct locality, just as much
as is Londbn or Paris, or any place on earth. We
hear of the splendor of the golden city, adorned with
every beauty wkh which the hand of Omnipotence
can embellish it ; of the mansions glittering with ar-
chitectural magnificence. We are informed, of the
social enjoyments of that world. The Christian is

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 133

introduced to the society of angels ; converses with
them J unites in their enjojrments ; becomes a loved
member of their happy community. We are inform-
ed of the active delights of heaven. Angel bands fly
to and fro, the rejoicing messengers of God. They
unfold their wings and take their rapid flight where
all the glories of the universe allure their curiosity,
and where no darkness succeeds the splendor of
ceaseless day. The joys of sense arc described. The
eye gazes full and undazzled upon the brightness of
God's throne. The ear is charmed with melody.
The body of the Christian is to arise from the grave,
incorruptible and immortal. There is the union of
soul and body in that happy world. There we meet
our Christian friends ; recognize them ; rejoice in
their love. Thus we pass our eternity with songs,
and everlasting joy upon our heads, virhere sorrow
and sighing for ever flee away.

How vivid and impressive are the views which
the pen of inspiration gives of the Christian's future
abode ! Yet the very common idea entertained of hea-
ven is, that it is a vast aerial expanse, where shadowy
and unsubstantial spirits repose in mysterious and in-
definable enjoyment. There is, indeed, with many
individuals, an impression that it is almost wicked to
associate ideas of joys with which we now are fami-
liar with that celestial abode. But is it not safe, is it
Y 12

134 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

not a duty, to be guided iu our instructions by the
Bible ? Admitting that the descriptions of the Bible
are figurative, as they of necessity must be, still these
are the figures which God has employed to convey
to our minds an idea of the joys of heaven. And
Grod would surely select the most appropriate figures,
and those which most nearly resemble the enjoyments
to be illustrated.

1. Therefore it is our privilege amd our duty to
describe heaven to our children, as God has described
it to us. Thus may we give it vividness in their
minds. Thus may we excite in their youthful bo-
soms the most intense desire to enter that happy
world. And why has God unfolded its glories but to
allure to holiness and entice us home ? Your son
has an unusual thirst for knowledge. His curiosity
is ever on the alert He is prying into nature's mys-
terious movements, and asking questions which the
human mind cannot answer. Tell him that there are
no limits to human improvements ; that the grave can-
not enchain the energies of mind ; that time cannot
circumscribe its range ; that eternity cannot weary
its powers ; that it will advance in its acquisitions, and
soar in its flight, long after suns, and moons, and
stars shall have waxed old and decayed. Tell him
that in heaven he shall understand all the wonders
of God's works, and experience the most exquisite

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 135

delight, as he looks into an4 comprehends all the
machinery of nature. And then you can tell him of
the Savior, who died that he might introduce him to
this happy world. Your daughter has an ear charm-
ed with the melody of sound. Music is to her a source
of exquisite enjoyment. Is there no music in heaven?
Is there no melody in the ** chorus of the skies 9" Is
there nothing enrapturing to the soul while uniting
with angel hands in their hallelujahs 7 God has thus
described heaven to us. Why should we not then
animate dur children with the same description? You
may, in &miliar language, carry the thoughts of your
daughter away to companies of happy angels, with
celestial harps and divine voices rolling their notes
of joy through heaven's wide concave. Thus will
she have some definite idea of the enjoyments to
which she is invited. The jop of heaven will be to
her intensely alluring ; and she will be led to in-
^quire more earnestly into the way of salvation, and
with more fervor to implore God's aid to overcome
sin and prepare her for a heavenly home.

Your child has an affectionate disposition, a heart
open to receive friendship, and to pour forth its
love. Tell him of the love of heaven, of Grod, of the
angels. Tell him of the love which animates the
bosoms of those noble spirits who have not a single
&ult to repel attachment. Tell him of again meet-

136 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

ing all his friends who love the Savior, in that
world where an unkind word, or an unkind look, or
an unkind thought, is unknown. And as you dwell
upon the proofs of a Savior's love, his heart may he
melted.

Is your child passionately fond of nature's scene-
ry ? Does he look with a poet's eye upon the ocean,
upon the starry canopy, upon the gilded clouds of
sunset ? There surely is magnificence in the scenery
of heaven. There is splendor worth heholding in the
visions of angels, the throne of God, the wide-spread
universe of countless wcwrlds. What is the ocean but
a drop sprinkled from the almighty hand ? What is
Niagara, to us so magnificent, but a tiny rivulet rip-
pling over its pebbly channel ? Animate your child
with the description of those glories of heaven, be-
fore which all the sublimity of earth sinks to insig-
nificance. Fear not that this will extinguish in his
bosom a taste for nature's beauties. It will, while in-
creasing the enjoyment he derives from these sources,
refine and elevate his mind, and give him ardent de-
sires to be prepared for this world of glory. Fear
not that this will strengthen in his heart the princi-
ples of selfishness instead of leading him to piety. If
God had felt such fears, he never would have pre-
sented us the allurements of heaven, or the terrors of
hdlL Present these jojrs, that your child may be iiit

RSLIOIOtS iNSTRtrCTlOK. 137

duced by them to repent of sin, to trust in the Savior,
and to consecrate life to his service.

These descriptions are necessarily in some degree
figurative, and we must so instruct our children.
But we must not neglect the use of these figfures, for
they convey to the mind the most correct conception
that can be attained of the enjojrment of the iuture
world. The &ct that God has selected them, proves
that no other language can be equally appropriate.
They describe, as perfectly as human language can
describe, the nature of heaven's enjojrments. But they
do not come up to the reality ; for eye hath not seen,
nor ear heard, nor human heart conceived, the joys
which Grod has prepared for those who love him.

Grod knows how to adapt instruction to the human
mind. We must imitate his example. And we must
present heaven to our children as God has presented
it to us, crowded with images of delight. The purest
and noblest joys we experience on earth, will be
found again in that world, only infinitely elevated
and Tefined. And he must adopt singular principles
of interpretation, who does not read in the Bible, that
in heaven we shall find splendor of scenery, har-
mony of music, congeniality of companions, ardor of
love, delight of active motion, mansions of glory,
and homes of never-failing bliss. Let us urge these
views upon our children till their hearts are wanned
Y 12«

138 THB MOTHER AT HOME.

by them. Nothing can have a stronger tendency to
convince of the folly of laying up treasures upon
earth. And this will lead them to listen with inte-
rest, to learn how salvation is to be obtained.

2. Dwell particularly upon the Savior. The
Scriptures declare that the preaching of Christ cru-
cified is the powerful instrument which God uses
in convincing of sin, and leading to penitence and
gratitude. And the history of the church in all
ages has shown that the history of a Savior's love
and death will awaken contrition and melt the hearty
when all other appeals are in vain. Your child
will listen, with tearful eye, while you tell of the
Savior's elevation in heaven; of his becoming man;
of the sufferings and persecution of his life; and of
his cruel death upon the cross. And when you tell
your child that it was God who thus became mani-
fest in the flesh, and suffered these indignities that
he might redeem his sinful creatures from wo, you
will convey to the tender mind such an idea of
God's kindness, and the ingratitude of sinners, as
nothing else can produce. The philosopher may aid-
, mire the noble conception of the eternal, incompte-
hensible, invisible Spirit. But it is God, as manifest-
ed in the compassionate, gentle, and suffering Savior,
who attracts the sympathies of the heart A de»
finite idea is introduced to the youthful mindi

ftSLIOIOVS INSTRVCTtON. 189

when you speak of him who took little children in
his anns and blessed them. Every Christian can
judge, from the effect produced upon his own heart
by the recital of a Savior's love, of the tendency it
has to awaken in the bosom of a child the deepest
emotions of contrition and gratitude. It is very ob-
servable, in all the accounts of youthful piety, that
the Savior is the prominent object of affection.

Any person will be interested, in turning over the
pages of almost any pious child's biography, to
witness how strong the impression which a Savior's
love produces upon the heart. Even under the most
adverse circumstances, the youthful heart has found
its way to him. Not a few instances have occurred,
in which parents, who have not been accustomed to
give prominency to the Savior in their instructions,
have been surprised to find that Jesus Christ is the
sympathizing friend to whom a child, in sickness
and in suffering, has most affectionately clung. God,
in Christ; has attractions which nothing else can
hava

When little Nathan Dickermaoi was asked,
•• What do you love to think about most when yoa
are in pain ?"

" The Lord Jesus Christ," he answered.

At another time his biographer records, '* Nathan
is very sick to-night. His heart is beating most vio-

40 THE MOTHER AT HOME^

lently and rapidly, while the pulse can hardly be
perceived at the wrist. But he says he is more hap-
py than usual. I asked him why. He replied,

" * Because my Savior is nearer.*

'^IBeing asked which was his &yorite hymn ; he
thought a moment, and repeated,

** One there is above aU others
" WeU deserves the name of friend ;

" His is love beyond a brother's,
" Costly, free, and knows no end.

" Which of all our friends, to save as,
" Could or would have shed his blood 1

" But this Savior died to have us
" Reconciled in him to God."

•• The remembrance of what the Savior suffered
sustained him in all his sufferings. Redeeming love
was the theme of his sweetest meditations.

" One day, some one was mentioning in the room,
that his disease was of such a nature that be would
probably die suddenly. Nathan heard it, and rising
up in the bed, clasped his hands together, and re-
pasted the verse,

" Jesus can make a dying bed
" Peel soft as downy piUows are,

" While on his breast I.lean my head,
" And breathe my soul out sweetly thert ."

RXLI0I01T8 INtTEVCTIOM. 141

** And after sitting a few moments in silence, he
sdded uiother :

** Jesus, my Qod, I know his name,

" His name is all my trust ;
" Nor will he put my soul to shame ;

" Nor let my hope be lost."

•* * Isn't that a good hope, Ma? ' "

We might open to almost any memoir of early
piety, in illustration of this principle. And indeed
every one who is familiar with the characteristics
of derotional feeling, as they are exemplified in the
mind of a child, must have observed the wonderful
adaptation of religious truth to our weakness and
frailty.

Let parents, therefore, imitate the apostles, and
preach to their children a suffering Savior. Show
them God in Christ, reconciling the world to him-
self. This is the simplicity of the Grospel. Indeed,
we can hardly conceive it possible for the affections
of a child to cling with ardor to any object, of which
it cannot form some definite conception. Tell your
child of Christ, who created him ; of Christ, who
became man, and suffered and died to save him ;
of Christ, before whose judgment-seat he soon must
appear ; of Christ, whose praises the Christian will
ang in heaven, ages without end. Thus is God, if

142, THX^MOTHBR AT HOMS.

I may so express it, simplified to the comprehen*
sion of the child. The mbther who does not oftea
present this Savior, and dwell upon the story of his
sufferings and death, has not yet learnt the simpU-
city and power of the Gospel. All other motives are
feeble, compared with this. You may search the
world of fact and of imagination in vain for any mo-
tive calculated to produce so deep an impression
upon the mind. And every thing in this astonish-
ing occurrence has a tendency to promote humility,
and penitence, and love. I dwell the more earnestly
upon this point, for it appears to me of primary im-
portance. It is the all-availing instrument which Qod
has given to subdue the power of sin in the heart.

3. Pray with your children. It is not only the
duty of a mother to pray for her children, but when
they are young, to pray with them. Let them hear
your fervent supplications that God will make them
his iriends. Let them see that your desires are in-
tense that they may be preserved from sin, and pre-
pared for heaven. The feelings which animate the
bosom of the mother will, by sympathy, in some de-
gree, be transferred to the bosoms of the children.
These scenes of devotion will long be remembered.
And if your efforts and your prayers are not answer-
ed with the early evidences of your children's piety,
these hours of devotion will leave a trace upon the

RELIGIOUS INSTRVCTION. 143

memoiy never to be effaced. Through all succeed-
ing years they will operate as restraints from plung-.
ing into guilty excess, and as monitions of coniscience
calling loudly to repentance and virtue.

It is reported of a man, eminent for his talents, his
elevated situation in life, and his dissipation, that one
evening, while sitting at the gaming-table, he was
observed to be unusually sad. His associates rallied
him upon his serious aspect. He endeavored, by
rousing himself, and by sallies of wit, which he had
always at command, to turn away their attention,
and throw off the transient gloom. Not many mo-
ments transpired before he seemed again lost in
thought, and dejected, by some mournful contempla-
tions. This exposed him so entirely to the ridicule
of his companions, that he could not defend himself.
As they poured in upon him their taunts and jeers,
he at last remarked, '* Wdl, to tell the truth, I can-
not help thinking, every now and then, of the ^myetB
my mother used to offer for me at my bed-side when
I was a child. Old as I am, I cannot forget the im-
pressions of those early years." Here was a man of
highly cultivated mind, and of talents of so high an
order as to give him influence and eminence, not-
withstanding his dissolute life, and yet neither lapse
of years, nor acquisitions of knowledge, nor crowd-
ing cares, nor sc^es of dissipation, c^uld obliterate

144 THE MOTHER AT HOVE.

the effect which a mother's derotions had left upon
his mind. The still small voice of a mother's pray*
ers rose ahove the noise of guilty revelry. The pi-
ous mother, though dead, still continued to speak in
impressive rebuke to her dissolute son. Many &cts
might be introdaced illustrating the importance ai
this duty. The following is so much to the point,
and affords such cheering encouragement, that I can«
not refrain from relating it.

A few years since, a gentleman from England
brought a letter of introduction to a gentleman in this
country. The stranger was of accomplished mind
and manners, but in sentiment an infidel. The gen*
tleman to whom he brought letters of introduction,
and his lady, were active Christian philanthropists.
They invited the stranger to make their house his
home, and treated him with every possible attention.
Upon the evening of his arrival, just before the usun)
hour for retiring, the gentleman, knowing the pecu-
liarity of his guest's sentiments, observed to him that
the hour had arrived in which they usually attended
&mily prayers ; that he should be happy to have him
remain and unite with them, or, if he preferred, he
could retire. The gentleman intimated that it would
give him pleasure to remain. A chapter of the Bible
was read, and the femily all knelt in prayer, the
stranger with the rest. In a few days the strange

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 145

left this hospitable dwelling, and embarked on board
a ship for a jforeign land. In the course of three or
four years, however, the providence of God again
led that stranger to the same dwelling. But O how
changed ! He came the happy Christian, the hum-
ble roan of piety and prayer. In the course of the
evening's conversation he remarked that when he,
on the first evening of his previous visit, knelt with
them in &mily prayer, it was the first time for many
years that he had bowed the knee to his Maker.
This act brought to his mind such a crowd of recol-
lections, it so vividly reminded him of a parent's
prayers which he had heard at home, that it com-
pletely absorbed his attention. His emotion was so
great that he did not hear one syllable of the prayer
which was uttered, from its commencement to its
close. And God made this the instrument of leading
him from the dreary wilds of infidelity to the peace
and the joy of piety. His parents, I believe, had long
before gone home to their rest ; but the prayers they
had offered for and with their son, had left an influ-
ence which could not die. They might have prayed
ever so fervently for him, but if they had not prayed
with him, if they had not knelt by l\is side and caus-
ed his listening ear to hear their earnest supplications,
their child might have continued through life unre-
conciled to his Maker.
T 13

L

146 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

There is efficacy in prayer. God tears and an-
swers our requests. But he does this in accordance
with the laws which he has established. It is pre-
sumption to expect that he will interrupt the harmo-
ny of those laws. He acts through them. And we
should endeavor to accommodate all our efforts to
the known habits of mind ; to present those motives
which have a tendency to influence. God answered
the prayers of these pious parents ; but he did it
through the instrumentality of the very effort they
were making in asking him to bless their son.

4. Teach your children to jpray themselves. It
may be very useful to teach a child the Lord's pray-
er and other simple forms. And a child may thus
really pray — give utterance to his own feelings in
the language of another. But this cannot supersede
the necessity of teaching him to go and thank God
for all the nameless enjoyments of the day, and to
ask forgiveness for the various faults he may have
committed. The minds of children dwell upon par-
ticulars. They are not in habits of generalizing. It
requires but little feeling to confess that we are sin-
ners. But to specify individual acts of wickedness
demands a much greater exercise of humility. And
a general recognition of God'e goodness affects the
mind very differently from the enumeration of par-
ticular mercies. It is therefore important that your

RELIGIOUS IN87RUCTI0N. 147

child sbould be taught to review the events of each
day at its close. He should be reminded of the mer-
cies received, and the &ults committed; and be
taught to express gratitude for the one, and implore
pardon for the other. The return of a father from a
journey has given your children an evening of very
unusual enjoyment. Wben they retire for the night,
allude to the happy evening they have passed. Tell
them it was God who preserved their fether^s life,
and returned him safely home. And having thus
excited real gratitude in their hearts, lead tbem to
t^xpress this gratitude in their own simple and art-
less language. By thus pointing their attention to
prominent facts and individual blessings, they will
not only acquire fecility in prayer, but be most ef-
fectually taught their entire dependance upon God.
Care should also be taken not to overlook the ordi-
nary blessings of life. It is a rainy day. Show God's
goodness in sending the rain. Let them see distinct-
ly, that their Father in heaven does it that his chil-
dren may have food to eat. It is night. Show them
the consequences which would result if God should
never again cause the sun to rise and shine upon
them. They have received some needful clothes.
Show them how God makes the wool grow, that
they may be warm. Every mother can present in-
numerable such contemplations, which will enlarge

14^ tut MOTHER AT HOSE.

thl^r field of thought, increase their knowledge of
God, f)romote gratitude, and give a facility in prayer
Which will be to them a permanent and valuable ac-
qiiisition. Let It not be said that this requires a de-
^tee of knowledge and skill which but few parents
possess. The chief difficulty to be surmounted is
fhd feeling which so many parents entertain that
th^ have not time. But the mother who feeb the
importance of this subject as it deserves to be felt»
will find time to be £sdthiul with her children, what-
ever else she may be under the necessity of neglect-
ing. The same course should be pursued in confes-
sion of sin. By pointing to these mercies you may
easily convince your ci:Ud of its want of suitable
gratitude. Perhaps he has, during the day, been
guilty of fttlsehood, or disobedience, or anger. Point
to the definite case, and lead your child -to confess it
before God, and ask forgiveness. We will suppose
that your son has been irritated, and struck his sis-
ter. Before he falls asleep, you remind him of his
sin. Show him how wicked it was, and how dis-
pleased God must be. Tell him that when he is
asleep he will die, unless God keeps him alive. Un-
der such instructions, almost every child would de-
sire to ask forgiveness, and probably would offer
some such prayer as this : " O God, I am very wick-
ed. I struck my sister. I am very sorry, and will

1UBUGI0U8 INftT&CCTION. 149

never do so again. O God, forgive me, for Jesus
Christ's sake." This would be prayer, if offered
from the heart ; and if, after it had been offered, the
mother should kneel by the bed-side, and confess the
sin of her child, and prajr that God would forgive
him, in all probability the intended effect of prayer
would be accomplished. The offender would be
penitent, and the sin forgiven. For these reasons, it
is a most obvious duty to teach children to express
their own feelings in their own language. And the
careful mother may make this exercise one of the
most efficient instruments in teaching her child obe-
dience here, and in training it up for holiness and
happiness hereafter.

Parents are apt to smile at the childish expres-
sions which children make use of in prayer, and
sometimes fear that their language is irreverent.
But God looks simply at the sincerity of the petition,
at its importance in the mind of the petitioner. A
little child of two and a half years prayed, " Lord,
help me to laugh and not to cry when mother washes
roe in the morning." And does not God look with
as kind a regard upon the humble request of this
little child, as he does upon the fervent petitions of
the man who implores support under some painful
operation, or strength to overcome an irritable spi-
rit t Such a request, coming spontaneously from the

Y 13*

150 rnt Motutti At HdMir.

h'^ftft of a child, is genuihe prayer, and it show9
d tttkte of feehng which ought at all times to be
cherished.

6. Expect that your child will become a Christian.
That heart which is susceptible of sorrow and of love,
is capable of evangelical repentance and love to God,
No one cari ioubt but that, at a very early period in
life, a child has all the powers which are employed
in the exercise of true religion. Neither can there be
any doubt thd.t at that early period the mind is more
susceptible of impression, the hold of the world is
more feeble, and the current of affection may be more
easily turned to God. And facts do hold forth most
abundant encouragement. How many little memoirs
have recently been issued from the press, which have
told the affecting tale of youthful piety ! Children of
five or six years of age have given the most gratify-
ing evidence of attachment to the Savior. They have
endured pain, and met death, sustained by the con-
solations of religion. Such facts have been too nu-
merous and too decisive to allow unbelief to be long-
er excusable. And yet it is to be feared that many
parents do not feel their immediate responsibility.
They still cherish the impression that their children
must attain maturity before they can be decidedly
penitent for sin, and the friends of God. But the mo-
ther who entertains such feelings as these, is guilty

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 151

of the most cruel injustice to her child. It is almost
impossible that she should be vigilant and faithful in
her efforts, unless she expects success. Every mo-
ther ought to engage in the duties of religious in-
struction, with the confident expectation that God
will accompany her exertions with his blessing. She
ought even to feel that, if her child does not give
early evidence of piety, much of the blame rests with
her. The christian experience of the child will un-
doubtedly differ from that of the man who has pass-
ed many years in sin, whose habits are firmly fixed,
and whose affections have long been flowing in the
channel of worldliness. With such a person the
struggle of turning to holiness will often be great,
and the sense of sin distressingly intense. But the
period of your child's conversion may be at so early
a stage of its existence as to leave no trace by which
the time of the change can be remembered. The
struggle will be comparatively feeble, and penitence
will be manifested by the tearful eye and the sad
heart, and not always by that deep agony of spirit
which not unfrequently marks the change of those
who have grown old in sin.

Much injury is often done by laying stress upon
the time when one becomes a Christian. Past feel-
ings are at best but an uncertain test of christian cha-
character. The great object of inquiry should be as

152 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

to present feelings and conduct. Is the life now in
accordance with the requirements of the Gospel ? Is
the heart now affected with humility, and penitence,
and gratitude ? Is the resolution now strong to live
for God 1 If the sun is shining warmly upon us, it
is of but little consequence at what moment it arose.
There are many Christians who cannot recollect the
time when they became subjects of the new birth.
Be not, therefore, anxious upon this point. Indeed,
by directing the attention of your child to any par-
ticular time when it became a Christian, there is
danger of leading the mind to rely upon the supposed
experience of that moment, rather than upon conti-
nued penitence and devotion. And therefore let every
mother do all in her power to awaken in the bosoms
of her children emotions of sorrow for sin, and reli-
ance upon Christ. And when she finds these feelings
in the heart, and controlling the life, let her thank
God and take courage. She must watch with mater-
nal solicitude, that temptation be avoided, and that
the feeble flame burn brighter and brighter. Christ
has entrusted this beloved object to your guardian-
ship. Why should not a mother confidently expect
this result to follow her efforts ? Has not God en-
couraged her thus to hope, by promising to aid with
his blessing ? Has he not encouraged, by again and
again crowning such efforts with success ? Away

REilOIOtS INSTRUCTION. 153

then with unbelief. To donbt is to distrust the pro-
mise of God. Instruct your child, and pray for your
child, and look for an immediate blessing. Thus, in
all probability, will your heart be made glad by the
fruits of early piety at your fire-side ; grateful chil-
dren will honor you through life, and the joys of
heaven will be magnified by meeting your loved
ones there.

6. Do not speak to others of the piety of your child.
Great injury is thus often done. A child becomes
deeply interested in the subject of religion, and his
friends are encouraged to hope that he has really
become a Christian. They speak of it to others. It is
soon publicly known. He receives much attention ;
is caressed and flattered. Thus is this little child
thrown at once into the very hottest furnace of temp-
tation. We might refer (o many painful illustrations
of this truth in the memoirs of early piety.

Says the biographer of little Nathan Dickerman,
** His feelings were often wounded by the injudi-
cious conversation which was too often held in his
presence.

"Kind friends indulged in perhaps what were
well-meant, but sadly ill-judged remarks in his pre-
sence. And it is most deeply to be regretted that
parents and friends so often, inconsiderately no
doubt, speak before children in praise of their per-

154 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

sons, in a manner that inevitably fosters vanity,
which injures their usefulness and happiness aa
long as they live.

" Nathan's ear was often greeted with, Beautiful
boy 1 Remarkable boy ! What a fine countenance !
Certainly the most wonderful case I ever beard of!
The half had not been told me."

It is remarkable that, while exposed to such
temptations, real humility could have been preserv-
ed. And though the grace of God sustained this
lovely child, but few would have escaped uninjured.

How often is even the christian minister sensibly
affected by flattery ! And can a child safely receive
such marked attentions? An honest development
of facts, upon this subject, would be exceedingly
painful. Humility is one of the cardinal virtues of
Christianity. The moment an impression is convey-^
ed to the mind that there is something remarkable
and meritorious iq penitence for sin, and love for
God, the heart is elated with pride. And then things
are said, and actions performed, to attract attention.
Prayers are offered, and feelings of piety express*
ed, from the love of ostentation ; and the child is
" spoiled." Preserve your child from these tempta*
tions by giving no publicity to his feelings. Carefully
cherish at home the flame which is kindled in hi9
bosom. Under your protection, let him acquire

RESULTS. * 155

Strength of principle and stability of character. Gra-
dually introduce him to the more public duties of
the christian life. Teach him humility. Preserve
his child-like spirit. In this manner you may lead
him along to be a humble, and, at the same time, an
active and ardent follower of Chrifiti

CHAPTER Villi

tlESULfS.

pR£QtTfiNT allusion has been made in the preced-
ing chapters, to the fatal consequences which must
attend the neglect of duty. In view of this, some pa-
rents may have been oppressed and dejected. It is
most surely true that the misconduct of children sub-
jects the parents to the utmost intensity of suffering.
But it must be remembered, that when parental faith-
fulness is attended with its usual blessing, joys, nearer
akin to those of heaven than of earth, are the result.
The human heart is not susceptible of more exquisite
pleasures than the parental relation affords. Is there
no joy when the mother first presses her infant to
her heart ? Is there no delight in witnessing the first
placid smile which plays upon its cheek ? Yesi The

;156 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

very earliest infimcy of the babe brings '' rapture a
mother only knows." The very care is a delight
And when your little son has passed through the
dreamy existence of infancy, and is buoyant with
the activity and animated with the intelligence of
childhood, are not new sources of pleasure opened
to your mind 7 Are there no thrilling emotions of
enjo3rment in hearing the hearty laugh of your hap-
py boy ; in witnessing the unfoldings of his active
mind ; in feeling his warm kiss and ardent embrace ?
Is there no delight in sedng your boy run to meet
you, with his face full of smiles and his heart full of
love; and in hearing him, in lisping accents, call
you mother 1 As you receive daily new proofs of his
ftfllection and obedience, and see that his little bosom
is animated with a generous and a noble spirit, you
feel repaid an hundred fold for all your pain, anxie-
ty, and toil. After a few years your children arrive
at maturity, and with that divine blessing which we
may expect to accompany our prayerful efforts, they
will be found with generous affections and establish-
ed principles of piety. With what emotions do pa-
rents then look around upon their happy and pros-
perous &mily 1 They are receiving the earthly re-
compense of reward. What an affecting sight it is,
to see an aged and widowed mother leaning upon
the firm arm of her son, as he accompanies her to

RXSULTS. 157

the house of Gbd ! And how many parents have had
their declining years cheered by the affectionate at-
tentions of a daughter 1 Who will so tenderly watch
over you in sickness as a daughter, whose bosom is
animated by the principles of piety which yoa have
inculcated 1 Among the sweetest earthly joys to be
experienced in old age, is the joy of looking aiound
upon happy and grateM children. The marks of
esteem and love you receive from them, will daily
be rewarding you for all your toil. And when your
children's children cluster around you, giving un-
ceasing tokens of respect and affection, you will find
in their caresses the renewal of your youth. When
all other earthly joys have &ded, you will find in
the little prattlers of the fireside untiring enjoyment.
But there is a scene of still brighter happiness.
The Christian family will meet again. Parents and
children will be associated in heaven. And when
the whole household are happily assembled there ;
when they sit down together in the green pastures
and by the still waters ; when they go in and out at
the mansions which God has prepared for them ; then,
and not till then, will they experience the fullness of
the enjojrment with which God rewards parental fide-
lity. How full of rapture is the thought, that the
whole &mily may meet again in the world of songs
and everlaMing joy, where sorrow and sighing shall
T 14

158 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

for ever flee away ! As from that happy state of ex-
istence you look back upon your pilgrimage on earth,
you can never regret any amount of labor you have
expended, any sacrifices you have made, any suffer-
ings you have undergone, to train up your children
to be with you the heirs of a glorious immortality.
O there is enough, abundantly enough, to encouragv,
every parent to unwearied exertions ! As with the
deep emotions of parental love, you look upon the
obedient and affectionate children who surround your
fireside, your thoughts may be carried away to en-
joyments infinitely richer, and for ever enduring, in
the world to come.

We may be called upon to follow our children to
the grave. And heart-rending is such an affliction.
But if we have reason to believe that they have gone
to the mansions which the Savior has prepared, much
of the bitterness of the affliction is taken away. They
have gone home before us. They are sheltered from
every storm. They are protected from every sorrow.
Soaring in angelic flights, and animated with celes-
tial joys, they are ready to welcome us when God
in his own good time shall give us entrance to those
happy worlds. A gentleman was once asked if he
had lost any of his children. " No," he replied, " I
have two in heaven, but have lost none." To a truly
christian family the death of any one of its members

RESULTS. 159

is but a temporary absence, and not an eternal sepa-
ration.

2. Mothers have as powerful art, influence over the
welfare of future generations^ as all other earthly
causes combined. Thus far the history of the world
has been composed of the narrations of oppression
and blood. War has scattered its unnumbered woes.
The cry of the oppressed has unceasingly ascended
to heaven. Where are we to look for the influence
which shall change this scene, and fill the earth with
the fruits of peace and benevolence ? It is to the
power of divine truth, to Christianity, as taught from
a mother*s lips. In a vast majority of eases the first
six or seven years decide the character of the man.
If the boy leave the paternal roof uncontrolled, tur-
bulent and vicious, he will, in all probability, rush
on in the mad career of self-indulgence. There are
exceptions ; but these exceptions are rare. If, on the
other hand, your son goes from home accustomed
to control himself, he will probably retain that habit
through life. If he has been taught to make sacri-
fices of his own enjoyment that he may promote the
happiness of those around him, it may be expected
that he will continue to practise benevolence, and
consequently will be respected, and useful, and hap-
py. If he has adopted firm resolutions to be faithful
in all the relations in life, he, in all probability, will

160 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

be a virtuous man and an estimable citizen, and a
benefector of his race.

When our land is filled with pious and patriotic
mothers, then will it be filled with virtuous and patri-
otic men. The world's redeeming influence, under
the blessing of the Holy Spirit, must come from a
mother's lips. She who was first in the transgression,
must be yet the principal earthly instrument in the
restoration. Other causes may greatly aid. Other
influences must be ready to receive the mind as it
comes from the mother's hand, and carry it onward
in its improvement. But the mothers of our race
must be the chief instruments in its redemption.
This sentiment will bear examining ; and the more
it is examined, the more manifestly true will it ap-
pear. It is alike the dictate of philosophy and expe-
rience. The mother who is neglecting personal ef-
fort, and relying upon other influences for the for-
mation of virtuous character in her children, will
find, when it is too late, that she has fatally erred.
The patriot, who hopes that schools, and lyceums,
and the general diffusion of knowledge, will promote
the good order and happiness of the community,
while family government is neglected, will find that
he is attempting to purify the streams which are flow-
ing from a corrupt fountain. It is maternal influence,
fifter all, which must be the great agent, in the handp

RESULTS. 161

of God, in bringing back our guilty race to duty and
happiness. O tbat mothers could feel this responsi-
bility as they ought ! Then would the world assume
a different aspect. Then should we less frequently
behold unhappy families and broken-hearted parents.
A new race of men would enter upon the busy scene
of life, and cruelty and crime would pass away. O
mothers ] reflect upon the power your Maker has
placed in your hands ! There is no earthly influence
to be compared with yours. There is no combina-
tion of causes so powerful in pron;ioting the happi-
ness or the misery of our race, as the instructions of
home. In a most peculiar sense God has constituted
you the guardians and the controllers of the human
family.

3. Perhaps some one asks, ** Is there nothing for
fathers to do f^ There certainly is much — very
much. But this treatise is prepared to impress upon
the mind the duties of mothers. Yet, lest it should
be inferred from what has been written, that the whole
duty of family government rests upon the mother, I
would briefly remark, that no father can be excusa-
ble for releasing himself from a full share of the re-
sponsibility. A father will often make many excuses
to release himself from his duty; but alas ! he can-
not release his children from the ruin, or himself from
the wo, which his neglect occasions. It will be a

162 THE MOTHER AT HONE.

poor solace to him, as he goes in shame and sorrow
to the grave, to reflect that he was hosily engaged
in other employments while leaving his children
io mature for ignominy and disgrace. What duties
can be paramount to those we owe our children? A
clergyman sometimes says he has so much to do,
his time is so fully occupied, that he is compelled to
neglect his children. And who has the first claim
iqion his attention, his congregation or his children?
God has placed him over a congregation, and has al-
so made him the father of a family, and which du-
ty does God regard as most imperative ? And yet not
a few instances might be pointed out, in which cler-
gymen of devoted piety and extensive usefulness,
have given their whole attention to the labors of the
study and public duties, and have left their unhappy
children to grow up unchecked and vicious. No one
can enjoy the privilege of being a father, without
having duties to perform which will require time
and care. And can any time be more usefully em-
ployed than that which is passed in training up a
lamily of children, who shall remain to do good in
the world long after we are silent in the grave 7 Can
we have any influence equal to that of pious sons
and daughters ? Can we bequeath the world a richer
legacy than the fervent piety and active usefulness
of a numerous oflspring ? O there is no sin which

RESULTS. 163

reaches so far, and extends such wide-spreading de-
solation, as parental neglect. No fether can be guilt-
less in retiring from these responsibilities. The first
duty enjoined upon us, is to keep our oton hearts
with diligence ; the second, to lead our families to
Grod ; the third, to consult for the spiritual welfare
of our neighbors ; the fourth, to do all in our power
to evangelize the world. And yet how many chris-
tian ministers have paralyzed their influence, de-
stroyed their peace of mind, ai^d broken their hearts,
by neglecting the duties they owe their children.

Many of the most eminent statesmen. are thus af-
flicted and dishonored. And the afllictioh must be
aggravated by the consciousness that they are reap-
ing as they have sown. I would not willingly inflict
a pang upon the heart of any parent who reads these
pages, but I cannot refrain from raising a warning
voice, in a view of the destruction which has gone
forth, and is still going forth, from the cause we are
now contemplating. The temptation is very great,
for men who are engaged in literary pursuits, and
overwhelmed with public cares, to neglect their do-
mestic duties. But how ruinous is this to usefulness
and happiness ! It is better to be a poor man, and >i
is better to be a humble man, than to be disgraced
in life by the profligacy of those who call us fath< r,
and to have a dying pillow planted with thorns by

164 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

our children's hands. Every man, whatever be his
situation in life, is bound to regard the duties he owes
his children as among the most sacred he has to dis-
charge. If he neglect them, he must reap the bitter
consequences.

One other remark I must here make, as it is inti-
mately connected with a mother's duty. A father
should always endeavor to teach his children to hon-
or their mother. If the father does not do this, the
difficulties of the mother will be vastly increased.
But where harmony of design is seen to exist be-
tween the parents, authority is strengthened. There
is something in loving and revering a mother, which
exerts a delightful influence upon the heart ; it re-
fines and elevates the character ; and is a strong safe-
guard against degrading vice. Boys in particular
will not long respect a mother, if they see that their
father does not treat her with attention. You can
hardly find a dissolute young man, who has been ac-
customed from infancy to look to his mother with
respect and love. It is in disobedience to a mother
that the career of crime generally commences. The
way is thus prepared for the disregard of all parental
authority. And then the progress is rapid to the
Tx)ldest defiance of all the laws of God and man.
Many an unhappy criminal has, from the gallows,
traced back his course of guilt to the early periods of

RESULTS. 165

ebildhood, when he commenced with disobedience
Iq a mother's commands ; and he has felt and ac-
knowledged that, had he then been habituated to
obey, his whole succeeding course had probably-
been different. It is therefore of the first importance
that nothing should be omitted tending to give the
mother great and unceasing influence over the minds
of her children.

4. The subject of education must be attended $0
with persevering study. And yet how many paretitt
neglect this duty ! Nothing surely can be of greater
^portance to the parents and child, than a correct
i^stem of family government. Every mother admits
her need of information. There are many valuable
books, easy of access, which will afford great assist-
ance. A mother should consider it one of her first
duties to inform herself upon this subject, as far as
her means will admit. The art of influencing and
guiding the youthful mind is susceptible of almost
boundless improvement, and we are unfaithful to our
children if we do not become familiar with the re-
sults of the experiments of others. We ought not to
stumble in darkness, when light is shining around
us. There are fundamental principles in operating
upon the human mind, as well as in any other
science. And many an anxious mother has com-
mitted error to the serious injury of her children^

166 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

which uae might have avoided, had she consult-
ed the sources of information which are at every
one's hand.

How great must be the affliction of that mother,
who, in consequence of neglect, has been unsuccess-
ful with her family J She looks upon her ruined
sons, and reproaches herself with the just reflection,
that if she had pursued a different course, they might
have been her joy and blessing. Perhaps even they
throw reproaches upon her, and attribute all their
guilt and wretchedness to her bad government. But
few more miserable men have passed through the
world than Lord Byron ; and he has distinctly at-
tributed the formation of his character, and conse-
quently all his crime and wo, to his mother's unre-
strained passions, and neglect of proper government
How must such a crimination from a dissolute son,
pierce the heart of a pious mother ! Knowledge of
duty might have been attained, but she neglected to
attain it, and through inexcusable ignorance ruined
her child. An affectionate mother would be over-
whelmed with anguish, if she had ignorantly admi-
nistered some poisonous drug, and had seen her
child in consequence expiring in agony. But how
much more dreadful is it to see moral ruin caused
by our own criminal ignorance ! Who would not
lather see a son or a daughter lie down in the

RESULTS. 167

grave, than see them in the wretchedness and dis-
grace of profligacy. If we would preserve our
children, we must seek information respecting oni
duties.

Reading, however, of itself is not sufficient. There
must be the expenditure of our own thoughts, and
the vigilance of personal observation. I onci knew
a mother who kept a constant journal of the progress
of her child from his earliest in&ncy. She carefully
noted down her more important acts of discipline,
and observed the effect which her course produced
upon the character of her child. With more solici-
tude and vigilance than the physician watches the
efiect of his prescriptions, did she watch the effect ot
her moral remedies and antidotes. His opening &-
cultHs, the developments of his affections, his con-
stitutional temperament, his prominent foibles, were
made the subject of continued deliberation. They
were committed to writing. Thus was this mother
gaining information more rapidly than she could
possibly gain it in any other way. She was accus-
toming her own mind to independent investigation
and thought. Every day she was gaining knowledge
of the effect of different motives upon the mind. And
her influence over her child was every day increas-
ing. Now this looks like maternal fldelity. It shows
that the mother feels her need of information, and it

168 THE MOTHSE AT HOME.

aaxiooa to aequire it. And it shows that she is will-
ing to make intellectual efiort herself, that she may
be able to- discharge her dutieau

Let any mother adopt such a course as this, and
she must be most rapidly advancing in the know-
ledge of guiding the youthful mind. When her child
first manifests irritation, let her write down the course
Ae pursued to allay that irritation, and the success
which attended her efibrts.

I will give a specimen of what I suppose would
be the general character of such a journal

Ian. 10, 1833. To-day Charles became very an-
gry with his sister and pushed her down. Asa pu-
nishment, I gave Mary an apple, and gave Charles
none. But I thought Charles seemed, instead of be-
ing subdued, to be more envious and vexed with his
sister.

15. Mary to-day treated her brother unkindly. I
thought I would try a different course from that I
pursued with Charles. I called them both to me uid
said, " Mary, Grod is displeased when he sees you
indulging such feelings. And now how can you ask
Gk)d to-night to take care of you, when you have
been disobeying him to-day 7" Having talked with
her a little while in this strain, she burst into tears,
aod aiked her brother's forgiveness. They were
seen playing again as happy and affectioaate as ever.

RESVtTS. 169

Be&re Mary went to sleep to-night she asked God'i
forgiveness, and promised that she would try never
to be angry again. I cannot but hope that am im-
l^ression was produced upon both their mindi, which
will not soon be forgotten*

18^ Charles t<vday accidentally broke a vahiable
lamp, i fear that i unjustly blamed him. I must
«ideavor to have my feelings under more p^ect
control.

22. Mary is begmning to manifest improper fond^
ness for dress. We have had much company latelyv
and many have spoken to her about her heautifid
gown, I must dress her in such a manner that she
will not attract attention.

If some such course as this is pursued with perse-
verance, great skill will certainly be acquired in the
art of governing. The mother must, in some way,
direct the energies of her own mind to this subject.
She must watch the peculiarities of the dispositions
o# her children. She must think and experiment h/t
berseE

After writing the above, the following communi-
cation was placed in my hand. As it was written by
a mother who has long practised upon the plan here
recommended, and who, from her numerous cares
might, with more propriety than almost any oth«r
parent, claim exemption from this duty, I with great
Y 16

170 THB MOTHER AT HOME.

pleasure insert it It is the testimony of successful
experiment

" Perhaps to some mothers it may at first appear
impossible to carry on, with any degree of system or
accuracy, any thing like a regular journal. It is true,
it would at first require some effort ; but if it would
aid a mother in discharging her duties, where is the
conscientious parent who would shrink from such an
effort? There are many benefits to be expected from
such a record, and it should perhaps be merely a re-
cord or note-book, that it may not encroach too much
upon the time of those mothers who are obliged to
devote a great proportion of their time in attending
to the domestic duties of their fiunilies.

'* The first benefit resulting to the mother herself
would be the necessity of making some regular mor-
tal effort. A young mother, surrounded with &mily
cares and duties, may feel at first as if she had no
time for mental and intellectual labor ; but ten mi-
nutes every day devoted to such a purpose, would
soon convince her that her other duties are probably
the better performed for such a diary. Her duties to
her children certainly will not be attended to with
iess interest ; and she is gmdually fitting herself by
such discipline, however trifling, to be their teacher
and guide.

** The habit of keeping such memoranda also in-

RESULTS. 171

daces a mother to look with greater scrutiny into her
own motives of action, into her principles of*family
government, and to govern her own heart and con-
duct, and cultivate more of a spirit which every mo-
ther needs — a spirit of prayer.

*' I am confident that, would mothers do this, mutual
henefit and assistance would he given to that class of
society to whom we must look for much of the fu-
ture happiness of the community. And many a young
parent would feel her hand strengthened and her
heart lightened in the cause of in&nt instruction.

" The plan I would suggest might he something
like the following.

" 1. Notice the earliest developments of temper,
and give the result of simple experiments made to
suhdue and conquer it.

•*2. Remark what things peculiarly interest your
child, and describe how you improve the opportu-
nity of giving the child a moral and religious lesson
drawn from the object of interest. Show the effect
and result of such an impression.

** 3. Describe the course pursued to insure obedi-
ence. State the difficulties, and how overcome.

** 4. Describe the course of firet religious instruc-
tion, and what generally Excites the strongest inte-
rest in your child's mind.

*' In this way you may assist many a trembling

172 THfe MOTHB& AT HOMB.

mother in doing her duty ; and the resuh oi ui vxf^
rience which perhaps it costs you but a few minules
of time to throw into a suitable form on papery will,
through the pages of some religious magazine, be
circulated to the &rthest parts of our country, and be
exerting a powerful influence on the hearts of mo-
thers — an inestimable one on the prospects, both for
time and eternity, of the rising generation."

The following is an extract from such a note-book,
kept by a mother, and written without any reference
to its insertion here.

" Perhaps thereare few dispositions which require
more judicious, firm, and steady management, in a
child, than that which is often ranked under obsti*
nacy or stubbornness. There is certainly no &ult,
which, if neglected, or allowed to gain strength, it
more likely to bring down the heart of a parent with
sorrow to the grave, and to insure to the child a
youth and manhood of wretchedness. It ' grows with
the growth, and strengthens with the strength.* Yet
I have heard more than one mother say, *that child
is very obstinate ; he will have his own way, and I
suppose he is too young to understand now, and fre-
quent punishment only hardens the heart.' A child
cannot be too young to learn ; that is, as soon as a
child begins to notice and watch the tones of Uio
voice and the expression of the countenance, it is of

RESULTS, 173

an age to receive moral lessons. It is undoubtedly
true, that in administering punishment, care should
be taken to do it in such a way that it shall tend to
soften and subdue the heart, not irritate it. Yet the
child must be made to feel that its spirit must yield
to paternal authority. For instance, your child is
playing with some forbidden article. You tell it
gently, but firmly, to put it down — ^it refuses. If you
rise and take it by force, the child cries — it is vexed
and disappointed. Instead of this, if you say, point-
ing to the article, * you must put it down,' and it re-
fuses, a second command in the voice of seriousness
and authority will seldom fail of ensuring obedience.
The child should then see an approving look or
smile, and if taken up and amused by something
which you are sure will interest, it will not forget
the lesson, particularly if pains is taken to associate
the forbidde7i thing with something which produces
a sensation of pleasure. Return to it and say, * you
must not touch that, no, no,* and repeat it two or three
times. Then give the child Something which is not
so familiar as to be worthless, and say, * you may
have this.* A child of ten or twelve months may
soon be taught, in this way, distinct lessons of obedi-
ence. If it refuses to yield, some slight punishment
should be inflicted, which shall connect the idea of
bodily suffering or inconvenience ; but care should

174 THE MOTHER AT HOME.

be afterwards taken to interest the child, and your
countenance should evincS no anger or irritability.

"A child of less than three years was often trouble-
some by the unyielding disposition he manifested.
He had been severely punished for his fault, though
never unless the danger of omitting it made the risk
to the child's future happiness very great. Once,
after a very decided case of obstinacy had occurred,
it became necessary to punish him. After it was
over, he said he was not sorry for the £iult. He
had never been shut up in the dark, as a punishment,
because with very young children the consequences
are sometimes hazardous ; but it was known that in
this case the child was not afrand ; and I desired to
know the effect of it, in connection with religious
considerations. The following experiment was tried,
and the conversation is here precisely as it occurred.

*• Mother. I am sorry you are so naughty. I must
put you into a dark closet, where nobody can see
you.

" Child, I don't want to get up and be good, (very
deliberately.)

** I kept my word, saying at the same time, * wh«i
you are a good boy, you may call me, and I will
open the door ; but now you must be quiet, and not
touch any thing.' He remained perfectly still more
than ten minutes, then knocked loudly on the door*

RKSVLTt. 17i

" M. Are you good now ?

" Ch. Not if I come out there.

" JIf. What are you knocking fori

*' Ch. I want to get out

" M. If you are good, I will open the door ; but you
have been very naughty, and troubled me. Are you
going to be good?

*' CA. No; I a*nt good and acNrry-— I ^n't want to
come out

" JIf. I am Tery sorry that my little boy is naughty.
He is in the closet, where it is very dark, and motk«r
cannot see him, but God can see him. God is dis-
pleased with you. I want my little boy to think. Can
you think of God, and ask him to take care of you,
while you are so cross and ill-humored ?

** He was still for about a minute, and then said, in
a pleasant subdued tane, * I am good now, ma.' He
came out and went to his play, as if nothing had oc*
cured to disturb his tranquillity. I have not the least
doubt that this occurrence will have a strong and last-
ing impression, and save a mother's heart many a
pang in time to come, and prevent the necessity ot
severe punishment"

There is an impression upon the minds of many,
that skill in governing must be instinctive ; that it
18 an original and mtive tiilent, and not to be acquii •
ed by information or thou^. But look al those pa-

176' THE MOTHER AT HOME.

rents who have been most succes^l in &mily g(y
vernment, and tkey will be focmd to be those who
have moat diligently and uniformly attended to the
subject. You may go into the &mily of some man
of celebrity, in one of the learned professions, and,
as you look upon his lawless children, you are per-
haps discouraged. You say, if this man, with his
powerful and highly cultivated mind, cannot succeed
in family government, how can I expect success ? But
a little observation will satisfy you, that this man is
giving his time and attention to other pursuits. He
is neglecting his children, and they are forming pre-
cisely those characters we should expect from the in-
fluences to which they are exposed.

No course of procedure, without the blessing of
God, will result in the piety of the child. But if we
go on in our attempts to govern without system, or
thought, or care, we shall undoubtedly reap most bit-
ter consequences. The mother must study her duty.
She must carefully observe the efiect produced by her
mode of discipline. There is but little advantage to
be derived from books, unless we revolve thear con-
tents in our own minds. Others may suggest the most
valuable ideas. But we must take those ideas and
dwell upon them, and trace out their effects, and in-
corporate them into our minds by associating them
with others of our own. We must accustom ourselves

IIB8ULTS. 177

to inyestigation and thought. The mother who wiU
do this, will most certainly grow in wisdom. She will
daily perceive that she is acquiring more &cility in
forming in her child the character she desires. And
the increasing obedience and affection she will re-
ceive, will be her constant reward Care and labor
is necessary in training up a family. But no other
cares are rewarded with so rich a recompense ; no
other labors ensure such permanent and real enjoy-
ment. Tou, O mothers, have immortal souls entrust-
ed to your keeping. Their destiny is in a great de-
gree in your hands. Your ignorance or unfaithful-
ness may be the means of sinking them to the world
of wo. Your fidelity, by the blessing of God, may
elevate them to the mansions of heaven. You and
your children may soon be ranging with angel wings
the realms of blest spirits, if^ here, you are &ithful in
prayer and effort to train them up for heaven.

END.

•>

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